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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
OUTSIDE THE SUPERMARKET--The Treasury Department, usually up to its hips in counterfeit schemes, has broken a coupon-forgery ring, and had its members arrested on charges of fraud and intent to deceive.
The ring, comprising mostly of senior citizens and middle-aged housewives, used readily available technology to create and reproduce coupons for items as diverse as two-for-one dinners, household cleaners, and upholstery cleaning. "The main organizers used scanners, photo-editing software and thermal laser printers to reproduce, alter and disseminate their material," said Treasury investigator Angela Drennan. "This is equipment that can be bought for under $1000. They may not have made any money with their illegal trade, but they sure saved, saved, saved!" Drennan says the ring was operating for at least a year, and the savings may have amounted in the hundreds of dollars. Other members of the ring were involved with obtaining the right quality newsprint, achieving an authentic "wear-and-tear" look, and running a fake coupon charity, where the fraudulent coupons were handed out to needy seniors. They were caught when they inadvertently printed a Subway coupon of Jared without his glasses. "They got greedy," said treasury agent Felix Mactavish, executive director of the Discounts-Coupons-Forgeries department. "We were also suspicious of the 'Buy One-Get Four Free' coupon, which fooled even the most experienced sandwich artist." Some of the counterfeit coupons were indistinguishable from their real counterparts. They appeared to have been reproductions of favourite coupons, like 2-for-1 sandwich deals at Arby's, and 99-cent drycleaning offers. Other coupons were more elaborate, with prices marked down even more than what the vendor intended, or with expiry dates extended--some past the year 2011. "I thought there was something odd when this one fella handed me a coupon for 95% off his drycleaning bill," said Bill Jenson, a store owner victimized by the criminals. "There's no way head-office shoulda offered a deal like that; I'd almost make no profit. But there it was printed, and it looked real enough so I accepted it. I guess it just goes to show you that seeing isn't always believing." The scam was elaborate and the perpetrators went to great lengths to create the sense of authenticity. They were able to acquire the same 20lb paper that the originals were printed on, they were able to purchase the same newsprint as the local newspaper, and they even went so far as to print parts of local stories on the back. "This is genuine EB72," said Rod Derrick, a local printer when shown one of the coupons. "They must have hand-cut sheets from a roll-end. You have to admire the nerve and patience of anyone willing to do that." Coupons were also crumpled up, to make them look well-loved or give them a "purse feel." Often they were mixed in with legitimate coupons to sneak them by unwary employees easier. "I thought my grandmother was going to Bingo all this time," said one concerned family member. "I didn't realize she was the king-pin of an international organization that photocopied and reproduced grocery coupons... I'm so ashamed." Coupons were
laundered at local coupon-poker tournaments, seniors centres, and the
laundromat.
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