 |
 | |||
|
|
| |||
|
|
 |
 |
||||||||||||
| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR BACHELOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
For the most part, bachelors such as ourselves have very little of it. We choose either to sacrifice the quick path to riches in favour of an education, or we are far too involved in the intricacies of bachelorhood to concern ourselves with the alien concepts of responsibility, commitment, and...work. I'm not going to go into any great detail about the sources of our allowances or stipends, but instead I wish to focus on the precepts of borrowing and lending. It is a very delicate path that we walk when we are placed in a situation where borrowing is involved. It may be a simple matter of a friend buying you that burrito because you were wearing sweatpants and didn't bring your wallet. Or, it could be someone picking up the tab at the video store because all you had were large bills. These are simple matters that are easily resolved, and don't require discussion. It is the grander scale that we must look at, like when a friend has an extra ticket to the Beastie Boys concert, and you are given the opportunity to "pay it back when you can." Credit between friends can be a dangerous thing. For example, let us consider a situation where the friend and you are in a social situation--perhaps in front of the 99-cent pizza place that you like to frequent. You choose to be extravagant and purchase two slices along with a Coke. Your friend notices this frivolous action, and takes the time to remind you of your financial obligation to him for the aforementioned concert ticket. The previously approved credit has now become a chain of responsibility that has shackled your fiscal freedom. Guilt and shame now weigh upon you, and all because of money. You might have been better off saying no to the ticket, or earning it yourself with an extra shift or two at Dunkin' Donuts. Lending money can be equally frustrating. Sure, it may only be a dollar here or a quarter there, but it's the small coin that can nibble away at your ass. Your friends will easily dismiss the loose changed that is proffered them--spare change ebbs and flows between friends like a tide. You aren't going to make a fuss over fifty-cents. If you do, you will risk losing any cool status that you have with those friends. But, at the same time, your pockets become lighter because of your generosity. No, it is far better to remain accountable in these situations. Instead of delving out the small change, offer the friend some solid currency. Give him a dollar bill, and let him deal with the change. That debt will be noted, and will surely be repaid. Anything beyond a "fiver" is probably beyond me. It's hard enough living month to month, and keeping within that tight budget. If you have to, just cry poverty when your buddy asks you for money. You may even earn a bit of pity, and you will certainly not take that hit to the wallet--which can help you later on when you need that cola fix. I hope this
penny of wisdom is useful to you, the struggling single. The path of the
bachelor is filled with challenges, and we can only do our best when battling
the conventions of society. Stay single!
|
|||||||||||||
 |
|
||||||||||||
| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
| Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. | HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US | Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment. |
