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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR ZOMBIE MEDICAL HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
CITY HOSPITAL-- Brain surgery is always an extremely serious procedure. It requires delicate precision, and there is a risk of loss of life. Operations can have varying probabilities of success, and that makes patients who require brain surgery very nervous. But when patients notice the zombie movie posters around the operating rooms at the City Hospital, they're able to relax just a little before they go under the knife and have their skulls opened up, exposing their brains.
"When people are in our operating rooms, they feel vulnerable," said Dr. Louise Spencer, chief neurosurgeon. "They're a little distracted with the worries of their intra-cerebral hemorrhages, subdural hematomas, and cavernous angiomas. These zombie posters give them a little chuckle before we anesthetize them and remove the tops of their craniums. I think it puts them at ease." The most popular poster is of Night Of The Living Dead, a movie about zombies, and their desire to consume the brains of the living. The operating room contains other zombie-related posters, including Day Of The Dead, Dawn Of The Dead, Return Of The Living Dead, and Return Of The Living Dead II. "We thought about putting up a Hannibal poster," said Dr. Fletcher, "because people instantly the exposed brain scene. It's brain-related, but there are no zombies in the movie...unless you consider Ray Liotta's performance." The hospital surgeons have tried using other methods to ease their patients, but ultimately they remained tense and afraid, unable to put their minds to rest. "Before, we used to try a little humour with the old egg-beater on the instrument table gag," said Dr. Spencer. "But, for some reason, my patients didn't find that particularly amusing." "We had also thought about installing a television with a VCR, but the hospital administrator thought that it might distract the surgeons more than it would ease the worries of the patients," said Dr. Spencer. "Plus, they're usually unconscious after a few minutes, and would likely not get to see the good zombie scenes." Dr. Spencer still likes to use some of the old gags. "Sometimes, when the zombie posters don't reduce the stress of a patient, I pull out the ice-cream scoop, and pretend that it's one of my surgical tools," added Dr. Spencer. "That usually gets a laugh. It's a no-brainer." Across town,
St. John's Hospital is using a similar theme to soothe their patients.
They've made up one of their operating rooms to look like Dr. Frankenstein's
laboratory, and includes a row of jars containing rubber brains.
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