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by Burt Umbre

Every manager should have a trusted friend, a key person on the staff who acts as their sounding board and helps communicate goals and wishes to other team members. Sometimes this friend has a title that includes phrases such as "senior" or "coordinator," but often they are simply someone who can nod sympathetically on those tough calls you have to make.

Nothing is more valuable to you as a manager than a healthy relationship with your trusted friend. How can you keep the relationship strong and working for you?

Play favourites for the right reasons. The biggest mistake many managers make when picking their friends is hanging out with co-workers who they've worked with for years. This rarely works, as juniors and snotty administration types will invariably view this as another example of the old-boy's club. The best friend candidates usually come from backgrounds quite different from your own. They can bring new perspectives and won't remember your disastrous reaction to the table wine at the last Christmas party.

Appear to fight with your friend. Encourage the occasional vigorous disagreement over a minor report every few months. You want it to look like everyone can be comfortable coming to you with concerns. Friends like to feel that their ideas are fairly considered, and not continually dismissed out of hand.

Make sure your friend pays for the privilege of listening to you with extra responsibilities to go with their titles of "senior this" or "coordinator that." It can sure take some hassles off your desk.

Make sure your friend knows where the boundaries are. You don't want them to get too uppity and start assuming that they can make decisions on their own. Everybody makes mistakes, and you don't want to find yourself adjusting too many decisions you should have made in the first place. Make sure they understand that being your friend is a privilege, not a right.

If sudden changes have to be made let your friend communicate the new plan to the other staff after you've explained your reasons to them in private. Your friend is your best buffer between the dirty hoardes and the clean sanctuary of your office.

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