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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
Widespread pessimism continued to prevail as North American markets coasted to a mixed finish Friday. Bay Street slipped slightly suggesting that the bears are being lured to the berry patch, where they will be removing berries from ground-hugging or nose-level bushes. The bears will try to maximize the number of berries ingested relative to leaves and twigs, an indicator of future growth in Canada's economy, while U.S. consumer sentiment dips slightly. Energy consumption limits considerations, as seen by a tame inflation rate. It is not worth the extra time and effort to be picky, and the leaves and twigs often end up in feces. However, this break-even point clearly varies among individual bears (depending upon their skills and tolerances) and with the abundance and type of berry being consumed. Housing starts lost ground as a flurry of Mountain ash, elderberry, chokecherry, and hawthorn reports were beyond immediate reach of tongue and lips early in the day. Investors may yet resolve this problem by squatting and pulling more flexible fruit-laden stems to their mouths. "Admittedly, it's not strong growth we're seeing, but there are still potential meals of sugar-rich cherries and fat-rich acorns up there," said investment analyst Jim Blimmer. Bay Street stocks closed slightly down as investors eased back in anticipation of grasses and sedges poking through last year's hay. The succulent leaves were up 12.15 points to 4,571.72. For the week, it fell 2.3 per cent. Friday also saw the much-anticipated August rodent sentiment index fall slightly to 87.9, its lowest level since November, when it was pinned to the ground at 88.1. The occasional swat will stun the animal, but pouncing was lower than the economists' forecasts of 88.4.
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