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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR CATTLE DRIVE HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS-- In Texas, they do everything big. The cities are big, the cars are big, and even the fundraisers that school children organize are big. Last year, Jefferson High School raised $62,400 on their cattle drive, and with bigger hopes they intend beat that this year.
Every year the students of Jefferson Elementary School print flyers, banners, and posters that they send out in their community, letting the locals know that they'll be coming around with cattle carriers ready to pick up any cattle they wish to donate. "I think it's a great cause," said Otis Worthington, cattle rancher. "I'll usually leave a couple of steers at the end of the driveway for the kids to pick up." The children take all of the cattle they round-up from their cattle drive to a local auction, selling them for the best price possible. Profits from the sale go towards new school equipment, uniforms, and scholarships. "We were 'steering' towards having an aluminum pull-tab drive," said Mr. Thompkins, the agricultural teacher, "but do you realize how many tabs we'd have to collect, just to make $10?!" The students want to let people know that they're willing to accept milk cows, sheep, goats, and plough horses as well. But they ask that you please leave behind the animals destined for the glue factory, or any factory at all. "We'll
take whatever livestock you're willing to give," said Mrs. Atwater,
the veterinary sciences teacher. "We'll sort and separate them later."
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