 |
 | |||
|
|
| |||
|
|
 |
 |
||||||||||||
| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
You have been selected by God to lead His People to their Just Reward. Where is that, exactly? Part of God's Plan, as He has surely revealed to you, involves a perfect society, a city of milk and honey, a Heavenly Utopia, where Those Who Have Been Purified by His grace will go and reap the rewards of their hard work. Some believe this place is here on Earth, and are working to create the New Jerusalem. Others believe that the Earth is too corrupt, that it has fallen too far into the clutches of the Reticulan Greys and others of their ilk. If you have received vision like the latter, you'll need to find someplace 'up there' that your members will look forward going to, when the time is ripe. I've always been partial to the Heavenly Heaven myself. The problem with terrestrial solutions to the evils of the world is that they are too close to home. Sooner or later, your members will want you to take concrete action to start initiating the building of His Kingdom. What are you going to do then? You can stall them only so long with phrases like 'the time is not right' or 'we need the right sign' or 'finances are too tight'. With an astral solution, you can wait for the Pleidians to make the first move, or for the photon belt to get into alignment, or the right comet has to come by. Stellar distances stretch time into infinity. You can't hurry the Eloha along, and you can't change the speed of the space debris that's hiding their spacecraft. Your impatient recruits will just have to learn the virtue of patience. All the same, it's important to have some target that they can look for and track its course. There's something about human nature that likes and needs to 'know'. After all, that's why they are with you to begin with--you have the ultimate answers to life, faith and the hereafter. So give them something to look forward to! Unless you have concrete details, avoid choosing things with definite arrival dates, like comets or sun-storms. So much can go wrong in the communication between the Divine and the Mortal, it's possible there's been a mix-up somewhere. You don't want to have a group of disappointed and potentially angry members asking why the Rapture didn't happen. Choose instead a far-off star with either an evocative name, like the 'Pleides', or else something so remote it only has an incomprehensible letter/number combination, like the 'x1003ts' system. The position of this astral body can be tracked with star charts. It can be pointed to in the night sky, and you can fill in your flock with details of life in Paradise as It is Revealed to you. Here you will rely on the timing of God or His Agents in the chosen star system to remove you and The Faithful to this Perfect World, removing the burden of initiating the process from yourself. Having a
proper vision of where Heaven is will create good morale and provide a
clear goal for Heaven's Children to work for.
|
|||||||||||||
 |
|
||||||||||||
| Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. | HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US | Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment. |
Starting
Your Own Cult, with Dr. Emeril Lazarus
