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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR ORTHODONTIC HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
IN THE WAITING ROOM-- Victor Krumflutova is an orthodontist from Bulgaria. The dental specialist was earning a modest living in his home country, but after learning about the wonderful opportunities for orthodontists in the West, he decided to move his practice to North America. With his eastern European teachings, Dr. Krumflutova brings a unique approach to the science of orthodontics.
Dr. Krumflutova, sporting a traditional felt hat with ear flaps, opened up an office in the North York Dental Centre, and already clients and other dental specialists are talking about the Bulgarian's unorthodox methods. "I watched Dr. Krumflutova install a set of braces on a young man," said Dr. Phil Cavat, a neighbouring orthodontist. "It was astounding. I never would have considered fashioning headgear out of Meccano." "I'll have to admit, he's a little odd," said Louise Lasker, dental assistant. "I have no problem with his peculiar mannerisms or the unusual way he dresses. I can even understand why he uses everyday items as useful dental instruments. But his policy of having his patients remove their shirts is a little over the top. It must be a European thing." Dr. Krumflutova explains that his adaptations were done mostly out of necessity. "In Bulgaria, I not have access to modern equipment and the specialized tools necessary for this particular science dental," said Dr. Krumflutova, who graduated from the Institute Govoreeheh Lee Ahngleeyskee in Gabravo. "Mostly I had to make due with limited technology, crude materials, and tools fashioned from whatever was close. Sometimes that meant I was forced to be ...creative... in my work." Dr. Krumflutova brought along some of his practical orthodontic philosophies to his new practice. "North Americans are so spoiled," he said. "They expect thousand-dollar work, and then complain about price. I keep price low, and reuse many materials that would be thrown out otherwise. Lots of good materials go to waste except for me." Dr. Krumflutova is particularly pleased with his use of an old soldering gun, a bale of barbed wire and a crate of Rubik's cubes. "I found the soldering gun in a garage sale for 50 cents," he said. "I was a good bargain. And I found the wire behind the building. I took it before the garbage collectors came. It was good for 369 sets of braces. I found the Rubik's cubes at flea market. I haggled them down to $10. Each braces I built cost only $4.67, instead of, what, over $4,000?" "I had Dr. Krum-whatever install a set a braces for my daughter Yvonne," said Mrs. Evelyn Sclosis. "They were fine, although she said the kids at school made fun of the bright colours. I don't think Yvonne minded that though. She could solve the cube puzzle with her tongue." Dr. Krumflutova has been sinking his teeth into alternative orthodontics since he was a young man. "At the academy we had to learn how to melt down the nails from the shoes of plow horses," he said. "And we had to pull the shoes off the feet of the horses too. It wasn't easy. After that, all the abundance of materials here is like being in heaven." His style
might be irregular, but Dr. Krumflutova's work is already straightening
up the orthodontic community.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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