 |
 | |||
|
|
| |||
|
|
 |
 |
||||||||||||
| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR RELIGIOUS HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
God loves you, yes He does. He cares about you, your family and about your future. God knows you've made mistakes in the past. He knows we all have. He's forgiven you already. Are you ready to move on? God is. He already has. In His book, The Holy Bible, God gives clear instructions to You. He lays out in clear, easy-to-undersand terms what you can do NOW to pick up the pieces of your life and move on. God wants YOU to prosper, and to that end He has written down how you can. It's all there in the Bible. Now, we have to bear in mind that although God is without time and space--that He stands beyond all His Creation--we mortals live in linear time. Thus, while the Bible has been written for YOU personally, it has also been written for everyone else, too. So we can't just pick up the Good Book and expect to find phrases like: "listen Joe, you have to start eating more fruit." No. Would St. Jerome have understood that this was a message to YOU and not to him? Would he have understood a lesson on buying tech sotcks on NASDAQ? I don't think so. His idea of high-tech was probably a wheelbarrow. God has therefore ingeniously encoded his messages--messages to everyone personally. They are there--a personalized message and inspirational speech for every one of us. We only have to understand the code to release His Word to us. After many years of research I have finally uncovered the secret method used by the original writers of the Holy Bible to encode God's messages. This method takes the Scriptures and changes them into everyday language filled with tips, tricks, hints, instructions, and how-to-do-it lessons, along with inspiration and everything else we would expect from the Creator of All. This method is foolproof--scientifically proven--and reveals the individualized messages to everyone who tries it! It's amazing--God's Word comes alive with every application of this refined series of algebraic formulas. Best of all, these Keys to Understanding work on any version of the Holy Bible. No poring over ancient greek texts or photocopies of Aramaic scrolls. You don't need to know Hebrew or Latin. Plain everyday English is good enough--and your beloved Bible, whether it's the King James, Revised Standard or some lesser-known translation. God's message to YOU will shine through. Are you excited
by the possibilities? I sure am. In the weeks to come I will share some
of my amazing discoveries to show you how God's Love for YOU can help
you turn your life around.
Evan Gilleste's Biblical Archive
|
|||||||||||||
 |
|
||||||||||||
| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
| Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. | HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US | Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment. |
Biblical
Prophecy: How To Make It Work For You
