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Floyd Barber, Motivational Warehouse Supervisor

Just what the hell kind of freaks do you think you are, turning my warehouse into your own personal haunted playground? Does this place of business look like a freakin' crypt? If it is, then I'll bury the first person who smart mouths me.

No, this my floor, and you'll not be spooking the UPS girls on my shift. The only thing frightening is your work ethic.

Now wipe that greasy-painted smile off of your clown-face. I'm suprised you even needed to wear make-up--the way you clown around here the rest of the year is costume enough for me. Why not next year put on a mask that makes you look like a worker, because that would sure scare the hell out of me!

I'd listen to what I'm saying if I were you, because you're already in enough shit to grow mushrooms.

My warehouse is not the place for your headless-horsing around. Our insurance won't cover anything if the masked moron drops a crate on superbozo over there--and his cape is not approved apparel.

If any of you disagrees with what I'm saying, I'll be happy to drop a pink slip into your trick-or-treat bag. I'm sure there are plenty of jobs for ghosts such as yourselves, because you're invisible around here most of the time.

If you want to celebrate Hallowe'en, do it on your own time. Now get back to work before I carve out your ass and stick a candle in it.

Floyd's Archive Of Wisdom