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Paul Chippens, The New Yankee Redneck

Hallowe'en is just around the corner (or three trailers down) and if you're like me you'll be getting into the spirit of things by dressing up the outside of your trailer with goblins, pumpkins, and other bits of decorative plastic you've been collecting for years.

Of course if you're made of money you can just go to some fancy big-box superstore and buy loads of screaming skulls, but why not use a little yankee ingenuity and materials that are either lying around--or to be had for next to nothing--and make something really special, something the kids and neighbours will remember for years to come.

Colours are important for Hallowe'en: orange and black. If you've had one too many BBQ accidents this past summer your front stoop may already have a subtle charcoal veneer. No point in washing that off now, huh? If you've been putting your oil-drum BBQ a bit further out in the yard, so that the flames were only licking the old Dodge pick-up, you can improvise by towing the truck as close to the front door as you can and scattering all your barrels around the yard to make an obstacle course. Put your "No Trespassers" sign right in front. That'll spook them kids!

Sometimes you can use material you had other plans for. I had this bale of barbed wire I got from my cousin. I strung it into a maze leading to the front door and decorated it with bits of smashed pumpkin and old socks. We didn't get too many kids that year for some reason, but I could tell the ones who did come really appreciated the decor. Incidentally, if you plan to do something similar, I highly recommend laying it out while it's still light outside.

With a little bit of paper towel, you can cover the pink flamingoes in the yard, and create little s-shaped ghosts. Take the head off of the scarecrow in the garden, and you've got an instant hit.

What about lights? Safety is important for kids now-a-days, and good lighting can also make your front look extra-spooky. If you pull one of the wires leading to the outside bulb you can loosen it for a "not-quite-connected" feel as the light turns on and off depending on how the wind is blowing. Another good trick is to soak some rags tied to the end of an old broom handle in gasoline and light 'em on fire. Plant them on an angle in front for that special effect.

Make sure you answer the door with a scowl and your shotgun in-hand, and you'll be set for your scariest Hallowe'en ever!