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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR RELIGIOUS HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
AT CHURCH-- The First Apostolic Church of James, thinking that it needed a "boost in the ratings," has begun a city-wide advertising campaign aimed at spreading the Word of God.
The campaign consists of bumper stickers reading "I Brake for God." They will be handed out free to parishioners at next Sunday's service. Father McDougall has ordered 2,000 of the two-colour, 3" x 14" stickers, and will ask his flock to stick them on the backs of their cars, trucks, and suburban vehicles. "I got the idea during breakfast a few weeks ago," said McDougall. "I was reading in the paper about the street races that teenagers and young people were having in the wee hours of the morning. It's a sad and shocking thing. They race, they get in accidents, and they die, all without the benefit of God's eternal love and salvation." "You just know where they're going," continued McDougall, "and I thought about our own parish and how few young people we have in it. Then suddenly it struck me--like a high-beam straight in the eye--why not combine the two? Why not a campaign that will not only promote the Word of God among the Godless young, but also the benefits of safe driving?" The new "I Brake for God" bumper sticker hopes to do just that. Father McDougall designed the bumper sticker himself and dipped into the Church Bulletin coffers for printing. "I used Microsoft Works," said McDougall. "It came with my computer and I've developed a certain expertise doing the Bulletin and 'no spitting' signs for the church. Not bad for an old man, eh?" "I think this will help spread the message of God," said McDougall. "The phrase 'I Brake for God' has meaning on so many different levels. It suggests that people will stop what they're doing to listen to God's Word, but also it implies that they slow life down and enjoy His Blessings. It could also mean that if God suddenly appears in a burning bush at the side of the road they'll stop and help Him out." Len Clarks of Clarks, Matherson and Thibault, a major advertising agency likes the over-all feel of the campaign. "I find the understated and 'simple' message attention-grabbing," said Clarks. "However, they should really follow up with other cross-media applications, like billboards and late-night television advert spots. That would have real 'impact'. They should also have a toll-free number and free samples so consumers can 'interact' with the campaign." Father McDougall
is also considering tight pink t-shirts that say "Porn Jesus"
and brass embossed keychains that say "God is the KEY to salvation."
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