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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR GAMING HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
MODERN TIMES-- Dwayne Mueller had high expectations for Ensemble Entertainment's Age Of Mythology, and had been looking forward to the promised enhancements to the Age Of Empire-style game of which he was a fan. But after purchasing the mythical beast-based strategy game and playing it for three days, Dwayne was ultimately disappointed. It was "way too easy" in his opinion.
Right from the initial level, Dwayne had used the available cheat codes to give himself all the resources he needed (food, wood, gold), and used the advantage to build-up his armies and defenses almost to the point of invincibility. Using cheat codes and hot-keys, Dwayne was able to rapidly advance through the ages and maximize his technologies before his computer opponents even had a chance to get started. "I'm a little disappointed," said Dwayne. "I thought that with the heroes and the mythical units, this game would be more challenging than other real-time strategy games; but after I gave myself unlimited god powers, the enemy buildings would quickly collapse under my earthquake attacks, and the advancing units would all die from my continuous lightning strikes." "The enemy hardly had the chance to reach my nigh-impenetrable, watchtower-littered fortress, and I rarely had the opportunity to use my reserve divisions of elite units," shrugged Dwayne. Using the advantages of the cheat codes, Dwayne quickly advanced through the Greek, Egyptian, and Norse campaigns. And even playing on the hardest difficulty setting, "Titan," the game offered him little challenge. "I expected the computer to react better against the battalion of colossus units I built in the first few minutes of the game, but it offered little or no resistance," shrugged Dwayne. "The A.I. just wasn't good enough to beat me." After waltzing
through the single-player maps, easily defeating the inferior computer
opponents in each of the Supremacy, Conquest, Deathmatch, and Lightning
game types, Dwayne regretfully uninstalled Age of Mythology and
went back to playing Return To Castle Wolfenstein...in god-mode.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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