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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR GOLDBRICKING HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
JUST OFF THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD-- Local goldbrickers, those industrious builders of bullion, have finally become certified in the new trade union, The International Brotherhood of Gold Brick Layers, after several years of delays and procrastination. Now, with the protection of a unified work force, the goldbrickers may be able to see the pot of gold bricks at the end of the rainbow.
The new members of Local 14K of the goldbrickers union are relieved that the certification process is over, as it was weighing down on them like a troy ton of gold bricks. The one-hundred and fifty or so workers now have a strong representation in the workplace, after so many years of slacking and shirking responsibility. "I don't know why we didn't do this sooner," said Peter Mason, union president. "I thought Bill Henders was going to organize it, but that guy is dumber than a red brick. I would have done it years ago myself, but I had other things on the go--you can't do everything. I guess we were all too busy...working." "Yeah, we just never got around to it," said union representative Michael Stone. "We're all such hard workers, that we never found the time. And it sure wasn't my job." The union hasn't restricted membership to just goldbrickers. They've welcomed several other trades, including sandbaggers, lollygaggers, and sluggards--the latter from the pest control industry. "It's not an open union though", Mason was quick to point out. "We didn't offer protection to the indolent industry workers, because they're basically a bunch of dog#$%@ers. "
Stone confessed that
it wasn't easy to convince the workers to join. The first ratification
didn't even pass, as they were a few bricklayers short. "It's just that these goldbrickers are all such hard workers," said Stone, "it was almost impossible to get them to take time away from their job. They felt guilty about the leaving the workplace to vote." Many people are given the wrong impression about goldbrickers. "For one thing, people don't realize how strong goldbrickers need to be," said Mason. "Those bricks are frickin' heavy. Try lifting one! They weigh much more than clay. Drop one of those on your feet and you'll be crying over to mama compensation faster than you can say 'safety in the workplace'." Mason describes how the local was finally organized. "We were all goofing around one day when old man Marley, the work site supervisor said he'd can the lot of us if this wall we were building wasn't completed by the end of the week. That's when we realized the importance of having a strong workplace representation. You can't let those work-shy and lethargic management-types boss you around." "We would have organized that week," continued Mason, "but I had other stuff to do--and we were busy with that wall project. But eventually we got around to it." "I'm
proud to be a member," said Stone. "It's the mortar that holds
us all together. Now that we're organized we have a strong foundation
to build on."
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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