| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
 Sea Tales from Old Pete
I'd never seen the like in all my hundred-and-fourty-two years at sea.
That's 51 land years I believe, and only bits and pieces of that time
spent on the great shores and ports of our world.
It was 1921,
and it was just off the candied reefs of Coronado, just beyond the pillars
of Sophacles. There she was, the shipwreck of St. Elmo, one of the Sumerians'
finest sandcutters. It was a beautiful site to be seen, and a sight for
sore eyes for sure. The tales tell of the great Sumerian captain Fehr
Abba Schubellah Shammalamma, who for years fought off the Pelloponesian
Pirates of Penzance with a keen sense of nautical warfare, and his shell-wrought
sword of Amman, the legendary sea-blade he used to slay the evil Merqueen.
The ship
was a reminder to all the seafarers that the reefs weren't no playground.
Many who didn't heed the warning were crying their songs in Poseidon's
Tea Room.
Old Spitty
McDaniels, the pitch mate, was in awe. He'd never seen the wreck before,
and spent the whole afternoon stirring wharf tar on the spit deck gawking
at the ancient warboat. Not to be outdone, the ship's artist, Goggy O'Dale
sketched himself a charcoal bark etching to remember her by.
If'n you're
ever near the wreck, be sure to use a steering bridle on your craft, as
you don't want to be swaying too close to the reef.
Old
Pete's Story Archive
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