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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR DONUT HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
ABBOTSFORD-- A sweet, sickly odor wafts through the air of a modest Canadian town. Winds from outside the suburban centre carry in the disturbing scents of burnt chocolate and custard, reminders of an environmental and confectionary disaster that has been smoldering for almost five years.
The Abbotsford donut fire still burns in the memories of residents, mostly because it is still burning... in a tasty landfill just outside of town. In 1998 the local donut dump caught fire, either from lightning or malicious candy men. Although long seen as inevitable, the delicious accident was still a surprise to many. The dump, in operation since 1967, had an excellent safety record with no previous accidents. People had been disposing of day-old and unrecyclable donuts--digging giant holes and filling them with glazed, honey-dipped, and cinnamon-sugared confections--with little regard to the huge quantities of grease, sugar and heavy carbohydrates that were building up under their very feet. It was an explosive combination. When ignited, firefighters could not extinguish it. The cream fillings burned like sweet naphtha, resistant to water, flame retardants, and even fresh-brewed Colombian coffee. Rather than risk further damage to the ecosystem, the community decided to contain the fritter-fed flames and let the donut fire extinguish itself, after its fuel of crullers, bear claws, and double chocolate dips has been exhausted. That was in 1999. Safer oils are now being used in donut production, which should prevent a repeat of the disaster. The donut fire will eventually burn out--the candy sprinkles that glow like tiny coloured briquettes will extinguish, and the fruit fillings that flow like tangy lava will cool and harden. The question is when. Some believe there are enough empty calories in the dump to allow it to burn on for another five years. Until then,
citizens of this small town will have to endure the smells of sweet burning
coconut creme and eclairs--far better than the residents of Cache Creek
and their notorious cheese landfill.
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