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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR LIBRARY HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
TORONTO-- It's officially in the books. Edna Fripple, the unassuming librarian from Sir Walter Raleigh Secondary School in East Downing, surprised more than a few smarmy booksorters by winning this year's Libraritarian Award.
Edna took home the coveted "Shushy", the award given to the librarian that best exemplifies the traditional qualities of libraritarianism. Edna, 59, has been keeping the peace at her school's library for the past thirty-six years, without once raising her voice during that tenure. Many thought that Edna was long overdue to win. "I've always said that Edna could do it," whispered Fred Abercrombie, Edna's assistant. "She may not have the flair of old Edith 'Evil Eye' Wharton, or the pinched-lip frown of 'Suspension' Sue Kelly, but for good-old-fashioned silence, Edna can keep up with the best of them." Several other librarians leaned over tables to softly recall events that led to the award. "There was the time that those boys were trying to make spit balls out of Sports Illustrated magazines," said Martha Marie, an elementary school librarian. "Most librarians would have flipped to see such disregard for property that clearly wasn't theirs, but Edna restrained herself and just silently hustled those troublemakers straight to the principal's office. I wish I'd torn a page from her disciplinary book." "I'm really proud to accept this libraritarian award," whispered the soft-voiced yet hard-shushing librarian. "It's a real honour to win. I know there are a lot of hard-working by-the-book librarians out there with fingers-to-lips shhh!-ing their hearts out in school libraries everywhere. I'm just thankful that I was able to keep the noise down to a reasonable level this year." Edna beat out several top contenders, including Kevin "Keep It Down" Kepler from Yarmouth Secondary, Charlotte "Check This Out" Schleighton from Ecole Fantastique, and Herbert "By The Book" Booker from Baker Middle School, the 1998 winner best remembered for his reform policy on dog-earing. Edna has booked some time off, and intends to catch up on some reading. The assembled
crowd of teachers, librarians, and school officials began to cheer Edna
for her, but were quickly hushed and then admonished by the award winner.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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