 |
 | |||
|
|
| |||
|
|
 |
 |
|||||||||||||||
| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
BRIDAL FALLS, CANADA--For infants looking for that extra thrill outside of the crib, there's nothing like the adrenaline rush of baby bungeeing. The exhilarating new elastic activity has infants shrilling with delight.
Baby bungeeing is one of many new extreme toddler sports, along with baby bear-wrestling, baby scuba-diving, and downhill mountain-trike racing. In baby bungeeing, tots are strapped into modified car seats and then tossed from the top of a special platform. The usual bungee plunge is around 75 meters (250 ft.) before a cable made up of thousands of elastic bands springs the baby back vertically, sometimes only inches (centimeters) before impact with the water (or inflated air-cushion) below. Children who love the sensation of bungeeing at home get a real surprise when they're thrown off the side of a bridge. "My little bouncing baby Barry bungeed when he was 4 months old," said Karen Magnerson, loving mother. "He screamed out in excitement the entire way down, and was filled with tears of joy when we pulled him up." Bungee companies are springing up everywhere. "You just strap them in and toss them over," said Peter Arnold, owner of Rubber Baby Bungee Jumpers, an outfit at Bridal Falls. "They love it! I haven't had one child go over the edge without screeching--it just shows how much fun it is." Peter isn't surprised at the success of his venture, or the reaction of the kids who pitch towards the ground with only a frail-looking cord preventing them from impacting with it. "The two-year-olds don't even want to get out of the seat when we pull them back," said Peter. "They grip the chair as hard as they can, and stare back at you with a crazed look. They won't let go because they just want to jump again!" Fans of baby bungee jumping claim the infants are entirely at ease. The bungee cord is like an umbilical cord, bringing comfort and safety. The feel of the elastic tether is like a nurturing mother, and that makes the children feel secure, right before they're tossed into empty air. "The look on little Kevin's face when I tossed him off of that bridge was priceless," said Sherri Hines, doting mother. "His eyes went wide with excitement, and he let out a little holler like 'weeee' or 'wahoooo', or maybe 'wahhhhh!!!' I know he'll never forget that moment for the rest of his life!" At Bridal Falls most of the babies end up wet...but not all of them hit the water. "It's from the excitement," Peter reinforced. "My great-grandmother had the same 'reaction' when we pushed her over for the first time." Baby bungeeing
follows the same springy principles as the Jolly Jumper, a baby exerciser that
helps develop a child's balance and coordination. "Really, it's identical,"
said Peter. "Except for the part where the child plummets towards
the earth, causing its little heart-rate to triple in just under three
seconds."
|
||||||||||||||||
 |
|
|||||||||||||||
| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
| Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. | HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US | Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment. |
