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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
Although no longer essential, it's a good idea to develop a good laugh--just in case you may need it. It lends an air of nigh-insanity that may undermine the confidence of world leaders or super-buffoons. In my years as the World's Number One Evil Villain I won several awards for my evil laugh, a laugh that rocked the United World Headquarters, and still would, if it weren't for those dundering twins and their pathetic little monkey. I'm Frank Herschel, but you can call me Captain Electro. Don't worry, I'm retired, and only interested in providing you with the encouragement to take over the world! There are several formal qualities of the laugh itself that should be examined. Timbre and tone are important. Use your whole chest as a resonating chamber, not just the upper part of your lungs. Remember, you want a deep, wholesome chortle, punctuated by carefully timed breaks between the bursts of guffaw. Nothing says "I have control" over your city of choice like a profound guffaw, filled with derision and scorn at the feebleness of your crushed, or soon-to-be-crushed opponents. Lung power is essential to develop your laugh. Practice breathing from the bottom of your stomach. No, the bottom you fool! Screaming at your minions for hours on end will also strenghten your vocal chords. When the time calls for an evil laugh you'll want to be able to go on for what will seem like an eternity. The Crimson Spackler was able to laugh for close to half an hour when he had the Ultra Sigma Ray pointed at Jocosity City's City Hall--and he could have gone on longer if that puny doer of good Ptarmigan Boy hadn't sneaked up behind him with the Grouse Gun. Some supervillains have experimented with with a nasal cackle. For this to work properly you need hunched shoulders, squinting eyes and wringing hands. Unfortunately, this formula runs the risk of not being taken seriously. The last thing you want is for superheros, civic officials, or even your own minions laughing at you. I hate it when that happens. The hearty laugh, accompanied by a scornful smirk or sneer is a safer bet when you're just starting out. In the last ten or fifteen years some villains have eschewed the demonic evil laugh, believing it to be "old-school". Going for a more subtle behind-the-scenes approach these new super bad guys don't even wear colourful costumes and are hard to distinguish from their own minions and slaves! Although
their organizational skills are impressive, they are hardly likely to
strike terror and fear into the hearts of the masses with their shallow
and simpering chortles and giggles. Develop your own evil laugh to resonate
off the walls of buildings and you will soon have the entire world on
their knees!
Captain Electro's Evil Archive
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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A
Step By Step Guide With Former Evil Genius Captain Electro
