| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR E-COMMERCE HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
I've been getting a lot of e-mail lately about enhancements to the human anatomy. I didn't realize that the human body was such a gold mine for economic opportunity! But with the correspondence I've been getting, there's apparently a huge demand, and a demand for "huge"! Now, don't be getting Cecil all wrong now. I'm quite happy with the gifts that God gave me, and let's just say that momma's been known to say a hallelujah or two in the bedroom from time to time! But we all know that not everyone on this blessed earth is satisfied with their own heavenly "proportions." It's fortunate for me that I'm such a well-communicated man on the Internet, and I find myself in a position to receive so many offers for economic advancement. Let's just say that Cecil's mailbox hasn't been quiet in some time now, and these bountiful offers have been filling up the inbox for a few weeks now. Whenever I see that, it's like the sweet call of the money bird, chirping me on to wealth and greatness. It's almost as if someone has compiled a mailing list of the most influential business investors, and they've put me at the top! Now after a little bit of e-research, it seems that there's some real money to be made in the area of "enlargement solutions." Oh sure, there's been one or two people who have written to me and said that that part of the business is a big bust, but sweet Jesus, big busts are big money! I'm not going to go all scientific on you; I'm not going to quote you medical-babble that tells you what-fors and how-to's of naturally increasing your endowments. I'm only saying that there's some sweet gravy to be made in the vanity business. Bigger is better! Old Cecil
would like to let you in on this one, but I'm a little embarrassed about
talking about something that's going to swell--my retirement fund that
is to say! Let's just keep this one tucked into our pants.
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