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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
Have we discussed a proper logo for your cult? Many who have a personal relationship with the Godhead often neglect this important aspect of Public Relations. When you have a direct line to the Divine it's hard to keep your feet on Earth! However, as we try to help those in Need of our Assistance to make sense of this Mortal Coil, we have to remember that it's not just our enthusiasm they look to, but also visual symbols that help tie Our Revelations with those Prophets who have preceeded us. A Visual Identity, as the PR people call it, is important mainly to help spread the Good Word and attract recruits. As I've mentioned in earlier articles, having a continuous supply of fresh enlistees is vital for the continued growth and health of your fledgling cult. When developing posters, hand-outs, and pamphlets that you leave on benches at bus stations, how do you plan your Presentation of your Revelation? Do you rely solely on lots of small type with about one-third capitalized? Although lots of small type is important to help Impart the Plan, and having all the IMPORTANT words CAPITALIZED--to make sure they stand out--don't forget you have to draw your Potential Recruit to pick up your Manifesto in the first place. This is where your logo--and Visual Identity--come in. A well-designed logo should have plenty of Visual Clues about how You are going to Save the reader's Everlasting Soul from the brimstone where they are surely heading now. Include crosses, pyramids, the single lidless eye, and rays from the Beneficient Ankh of Perpetual Bliss. Eagle wings are also a good idea. You can't have too much in it! Imagine that your Potential Recruit can't read. How are you going to Share your Received Wisdom by using pictures? One of my most popular hand-outs was a letter-sized document, photocopied on both sides (on "goldenrod"--a yellow paper) and folded in half. Entitled "Are You Going Straight To Hell? Let Me Save You!" I had about 2500 words crammed onto that paper, but I kept the front cover open with just the title and an Inspired drawing by one of the members of my cult showing an Eagle clutching the Liver of Man while the Enlightened Spaceships formed a Five-Pronged Swastika emanating rays that held the Raptured in Eternal Bliss. I think the pick-up rate of the brochure was 91% (with very few found in the trash), compared to about 15% for a previous version that had THE SAME TEXT. That's how important visuals are. Just as an aside, don't forget to include details such as when and where your next Information Meeting is or a phone number on any written materials. Be sure to include FREE REFRESHMENTS. A visual
representation of who you are will help attract New Recruits in ways that
mere words, even Inspired Words, sometimes can not.
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Starting
Your Own Cult, with Dr. Emeril Lazarus
