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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR POLITICAL HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
NORTH OF THE 49TH PARALLEL--If you've ever wondered why all Canadian students walk with a hunch, their backs slumped over like mutant teenaged Quasimodos, it's because their textbooks are much larger and heavier than anywhere else in the world. It's the price to pay for multiculturalism.
All Canadian books are twice as thick--and twice as expensive--because they must be printed in two languages: English & French. Canada's Official Languages Act requires that all printed text be produced in the nations' two official languages. From magazines to milk cartons, ball caps to bumper stickers, everything and anything with writing has to be printed twice. The policy strengthens Canadian heritage by promoting the two cultures, but the rising cost of paper, and higher shipping costs can be a detriment. Canadian phonebooks can weigh up to 40 pounds! For example an entry in the Metropolitan Halifax phonebook reads: "Hambleton, John, 4857 Potato St. 443-0654". Directly below (translated into French) it reads: "Hambleton, John, 4857 Rue Pomme de Terre 443-0654" Most print publications have the English version in the front and the French in the back (or vice versa), but sometimes they are translated page-by-page or even paragraph-by-paragraph. This can make it difficult for the reader. Even more annoying is when the two versions are upside-down from each other, which forces the reader to continually "flip" pages if they like to read both languages at the same time. Certainly a dizzying proposition. There have been attempts to merge the two languages (in writing) by making use of the hybrid "Franglais" language, a blend of les deux languages. However there has been beaucoup of resistance from language purists, as well as those unfortunate to be only fluent in one language. Another solution attempted in the early 1970s was printing the French in blue and the English in red, and then supplying reading glasses of the appropriate tint so that only one text was visible. But this was only popular with a few liberal arts students who experimented using 3-D glasses for special mind-blowing effects. Today some bookstores will separate the text, for a price, removing one of the languages from the hardcover binding. However, the practice is illegal, and tends to create too much paperwork, and many hours in front of the document shredder. In 1998, the Electronic Documents Act was expanded to include provisions for the bilingual stipulations of the Official Languages Act. Any document stored on a computer in Canada is now required to be in both languages, including any private letters, recipes or to-do lists. For the purposes of the Act, every electronic document is "published" as soon as it is saved, and thus is under its jurisdiction. Although the official belief is that bilingual printing encourages cross-cultural understanding, critics point to titles such as How to Learn French, Popular English Limericks, and many Dr. Seuss books as examples of the ridiculousness of enforcing translation on every publication. Popular childrens' books such as Le Chat Dans Le Chapeau tended to lose some of their flavour, although there were no noticeable differences in Tin Tin and Asterix comic novels. But students
can only expect things to get worse. Canada has been moving since the
mid-1970s to incorporate even more multicultural elements into government
policies. Already on the drawing board are plans to include Mandarin,
Cantonese, Spanish, German, and Hindi in the Official Languages Act.
With burgeoning requirements looming, publishers may have to plan for
multi-volume books, which might only be available in TV offers.
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