Alien Dumped After Only One Date

PLANET EARTH -- Kth'thzz K'th'ack had thought he was doing well with his Earthling date Karen. Kth'thzz, who's "not from around here," had studied Earth customs, and believed he was doing okay on his first date with the 27-year old.

But Karen, who met Kth'thzz through online dating service Galaxydating.com, didn't think the date went very well at all.

"I don't mind dating foreign guys," said Karen, "and I don't mind when the guy makes the first move. But, to tell you the truth, this guy was all hands."

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French Once Experimented With Chemical Weapons

POUPON, FRANCE -- It was during the Great War (now known as World War I) that France had first tried to develop chemical weapons. It was 1917, and they were battling against the Germans who were already using a poisonous gas in combat.

The French, desperate to sway the tide of battle, came up with their own chemical weapon, Dijon Mustard Gas, a tangy, yet potentiallylethal vapour.

Ultimately, the experiment failed, as the gas would only cause eyes to water, and induced a strong craving for honey ham.

Caribou Clock Top Selling Gift Again In Canada

OTTAWA-- The consumer results are in for the 2nd quarter (April-June 2003), and it appears as if the popular "Caribou Clock" has once again topped the list as best-selling retail gift item.

The 24" inch tall plaque, featuring a beautfiul picture of a caribou stag and finished in a fine eposy resin, is fitted with a precision-time Japanese quartz clock mechanism.

The magnificent wall-mounted item, made of Chesapeake Pine and stained with a dark walnut finish, outsold other Canadian favourites such as the stuffed-beaver umbrella stand, the moose antler hat rack, the possum-fur car chamois, the raccoon-skin oven mitts, and the ever-popular "Welcome Back Otter" lunchkits.