Bing Crosby's Wait Is Over

HEAVEN-- Bing Crosby had been waiting for twenty-five years to do a remake, but now work on The Road To Heaven can begin.

With the recent passing of long-time partner Bob Hope, the entertaining duo will be able re-establish the movie magic they had when they were alive.

Crosby, who passed away in 1977, was beginning to wonder if his buddy was ever going to show up at the pearly gates, stubbornly clinging onto life until the ripe age of 100.

The colourful pair hope to improve on their sub-par performances in their last movie, The Road To Hong Kong (1962).

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Real Estate Agents Blows Open House Budget On Balloons

AT YOUR NEIGHBOUR'S HOUSE-- Jerry Tadd had intended to cater last weekend's open house, offering coffee, donuts, and scones for the potential homebuyers who came by to look at the spacious 3-bedroom home.

But at the last minute Jerry realized that he only had enough money left in his budget for a bagful of children's party balloons.

Jerry made the best of the situation by blowing up sixteen red, blue, and yellow balloons before succumbing to lightheadedness. He placed six of those balloons on the "Open House" directional signs on the neighbouring street, three on his 1991 Ford Thunderbird, and the remaining seven around the doorway to the 15-year-old house.

Next time, Jerry may spring for helium, or splurge on eye-catching party streamers to help him close the deal.

Weight Watchers Receptionist Leading You Into Temptation

AT THE RECEPTION DESK-- "Would you like a donut?" asks Claire Myers as you approach. "They're fresh...mmm, cinnamon sprinkles."

Claire knows that you are on a diet. She is fully aware of the effort it is taking for you to refuse her offer, yet she insists on taunting you with delicious bakery confections.

You may not know it, but Claire is just bitter at the rest of you, because she has been unable to maintain her ideal weight, regardless of the fact that she gets all of her Weight Watchers meals at cost.