Cycling Salesman Rides Into The Wrong Town

ON THE ROAD-- Pete Petersen, the "Pedaling Peddler" wasn't pleased when he wheeled into the small town of Pullman, Washington, only to find that the city had put a pox on travelling cycling salesmen.

Pete, who's been pushing pots, pans, and personal paraphernalia for pretty much his whole life, was peeved when he saw the posted sign preventing him from pitching his products.

"I've been wheeling and dealing for thirty-seven years and this this the first time I've ever had to pay the piper," said Pete. "I'm pretty pissed."

CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE

The Toque is a humour/satire magazine published every week here on the Internet. We strive to write the most outrageously ordinary material, bringing you the maximum amount of laughter with the least amount of effort.

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Prostitute Convention A Ho Lot Of Fun

SPOKANE, WA -- The first annual Prostitutes Convention and Professionals' Workshop was declared a success, according to organizers.

Over 1,500 working professionals from all over the western United States gathered in Spokane to share best practices, and to learn how to develop new relationships in the community.

The four-day event was exhausting for the staff who put together the retreat for working girls, and many were happy when the event was over.

"Let's blow this city," said Tina Lolita, a career hooker and organizer for the event, who was eager to be on her way home.

"I thought that's what you said when we got here!" said Candy Dee-Lite a representative from Salem, Oregon.

Readers Demand More Canadian Content

TOQUE HEADQUARTERS -- Readers of The Toque, upset at the lack of home-grown quality written entertainment have demanded more Canadian content to be included in each edition of the popular online e-zine.

Canada's four million citizens, 3.5 million of which have the Internet and read the Vancouver-based magazine, have threatened to boycott the website if we don't acknowledge our heritage.

So, to satiate our native brethren, at the cost of the rest of the world, we humbly include this picture of two of our founding fathers, Maurice "Rocket" Richard, and Sir Wilfred Laurier, taken during an interview at the CBC studios in Toronto in 1975.