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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR BOWLING HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
RIGHT DOWN YOUR ALLEY-- You may have noticed that the lanes are getting greener, because the sport of lawn bowling is growing faster than a garden weed. More and more bowling alleys are installing grow-lights and replacing floorboards with strips of turf, because the once-stuffy sport for seniors has moved indoors.
The old-fashioned bowling alleys are green with envy! The newer, well-groomed lanes are mowing away the competition, and the sport has become as lush as your neighbour's lawn. Although some bowling lanes are using artificial surfaces, like astroturf or "It's Almost Sod" many opt for the natural lushness of real grass. Vince Quilles, a semi-professional lawn bowler, is a firm advocate of real turf. "The artificial stuff is more even, and you'll never have to worry about dry spots changing your spin," said Vince, also known as the Lawn Boy. "But it's those very qualities that make for a much more enjoyable bowling experience. Like a well-designed golf course, every lane is different. I love the variety. Artificial turf takes away from the natural qualities of indoor bowling." Expert bowlers have already learned to read the lanes like a golfer reads a putting green. "I can get some great spin on my shots," said John 'Nevada' Smith. "I'll use a studded or dimpled ball if I want a more accurate shot, but I've found the grass surface grips better than smooth hardwood ever did. There's more room for creative shots." Even the type of grass can impact a lawn bowler's game. "I've found that the Kentucky Bluegrass gives a keener 'edge' than, say, a creeping red fescue," continued Smith. "It's always a real pleasure to play on a properly-prepared turf. The ball just rolls like butter." Greener lanes have meant a few changes to the bowlers, as well as their game. Lawn bowlers use cleats--of course--which gives them better body control, and keeps them from sliding like traditional bowlers often do. And although traditionalists prefer white, many younger players opt for darker clothes--to hide the grass stains if they do go down. Some of the hazards of lawn bowling, besides uneven turf, and dry or wet spots, are the inevitable weeds that can throw the best lawn bowlers games into the gutter. "I almost lawn-bowled a three hundred game last week," said Smith, "but my ball hit a weed--I think it was a dandelion--in the tenth frame. Those are the breaks I guess." New lawn bowlers should be aware that tossing causes divots. Unlike hardwood floors, it's easy to see who's lofting the balls, and strict rules are in place for those divots to be replaced by the bowler. Grounds crews like to keep the lawns almost as smooth as a golf green, but with a slight fringe on the sides to help keep the balls out of the gutters. The alleys use hydroponic lighting to give the grass the light it needs, and a modified sprinkle system waters the lanes. The gutters also act as eaves, providing excellent drainage. "We
tried pop-up sprinklers when we first converted," said Bill 'the
Skull' Wilkins, a former champion and owner of one of the first lawn-bowling
lanes in Canada. "But wouldn't you know it, one popped up during
the semi-finals of a tournament, and interfered with a ball."
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