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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
We were three days out of Naples, and we were hauling a skipload of Genoan tea biscuits to Tripoli. It was 1931 I recall. Guppy McAllister, was looking as green as sea gravy, and we weren't sure he'd make it to port. We all knew he had a rich case of spice sickness, but none of us wanted to mention it, lest we offend the Gods of the Four Tradewinds. Ol' Guppy, poor fella. He spent more time bent over the casting bridge than a wharf bird with a Frenchman's hammer. I'd never seen a man empty his stomache so fiercely. It was like seeing the spouthole on a whistlefish. Well, we knew that unless we got some reef candy into his system, he'd be kissing the bosun's rifle, and making his salutes to the admiral of the one-masted frigate. Yah, he fought us some sure, cuz no one in his right mind wants to swallow that bile of Poseidon, but we made sure he got enough in him to keep the Grey Schooner from pressing him into its ghostly gang. Heh. It's funny to think of him now. Guppy recovered from his malady, and strengthened up enough to make me carry the captain's anvil for the next two weeks. Yah, but I deserved it. Nobody laughed
at him after that, and truth, there wasn't a sailor more worth his wharf
tar to his mates than Ol' Guppy. He would've sold his soul to buy you
a yard of Portugese whale rope, but he'd use that same rope to whip your
hide if he caught you pinching the steam pot on a Sunday.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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Sea Tales from Old Pete
