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It's Time Quebec Started Using The Canadian Dollar

OTTAWA -- Separatism seems to have lost some of its steam in Quebec, and federalists across the nation think it's time that the belle province gave up some of its separate identity policies, and joined the rest of the country by abolishing its language and signage laws and unifying its monetary system with the rest of the country.

This Quebecenese 10-dollar note is quite common in Montreal.

One Canada, one currency.

After three-hundred years it no longer makes sense for Quebec to be still minting its own money. It costs the banks millions of dollars each year to convert the currency, and it has induced uncountable hours of head-scratching confusion for gas station attendants across the country. Most think that the bills are out of some French version of Monopoly.

Quebec has had its own monetary system since 1737 when they introduced the Beaver Buck, la feuille castor, a paper note that was worth the equivalent of 10 beaver pelts, a sizable sum, especially for the beavers.

The note was only valid in trading posts when first introduced, but the voyageurs soon spread the beaver across the continent. At one time it was legal tender from the Atlantic to the Pacific and as far south as Louisiana, although Louisianans weren't allowed to accept anything over $20. After the battle of the Plains of Abraham its use was limited to the territory of Lower Canada, which eventually became the province of Quebec.

However it's hard to unify a country when you can't even settle on bank notes. Some provinces, notably Alberta, don't even except Quebécois money, which unsurprisingly is printed completely in French, including the numbers.

"How can I accept this as currency when I don't even know how much it's for," said Craig Laroche, a convenience store owner in Calgary. "What's a 'dix'? Maybe the gay club down the street knows, but I sure don't."

Language and politics aren't the only issues. Quebec paper money is noted for its unusual size.

"It would be a grand step if they could agree on a standard size for paper money," said Wallace Grumbacher, who lives in Ottawa, Ontario, a paper airplane's throw from Hull, Quebec. "I don't mind the money so much, but those Frog notes are bigger than the British pound, and nobody makes a wallet big enough to hold them. I've used more than a few as placemats."

If Quebec does decide to discard its currency and embrace the Canadian dollar, Quebec residents could enjoy such benefits as participating in national lotteries, using standardized vending machines, and joining the rest of the nation in complaining about Canada's deflated economy.

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