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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR INTERNET HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE Bob's Utility Software Thank you for purchasing Bob's Utility Software, the most complete utility software package you will ever buy. Please acknowledge that you have read the following licensing agreement by clicking <yes>. If you have not read the licensing agreement but wish to continue anyways and trust that we haven't put in any nasty legal stuff or asked you to hand over your eternal soul please click <continue>. If you wish to quit now without installing, please click <quit now>. Please remember that all purchases are final, and there are no refunds, credits, or exchanges. Bob's Utility Software is a flexible package that allows you to customize your installation. If you want to install the basic features please click <basic install>. If you want to install the full package, please click <full install>. If you completely unsure as to how to proceed, please click <random> and we will choose what's best for you. If you are one of those hard-to-please know-it-all ubergeeks that could write this program in his sleep, please click <custom install> (We don't want any trouble).
Now click <proceed> to continue or click <continue> to proceed. ***installation 10% complete*** Bob's Utility Software replaces all other software utilities programs, and recommends that you let our Sweep-Clean utility erase all other utility programs it finds on your system. Please click <yes> to continue, click <no> to not not continue, or click <maybe> to continue without consciously making a decision you'd regret. ***installation 25% complete*** Bob's Utility Software would like to add a shortcut to your desktop, place an icon in your Windows system tray, and include a line in your start-up menu. In addition, we would like to you to wear a lime-green t-shirt that says "I Love Bob." Please click <okay> if you are okay with this, or click <unsure> if you would like to think about the t-shirt suggestion. ***installation 42.78% complete*** Bob's Utility Software has noticed that it is not currently set as the default program for this particular type of application. Please click <default> to make Bob your default program or click <search and destroy> to leave things exactly the way they are. ***installation 62 1/7% complete*** Bob's Utility Software has identified that you have a lot of copyrighted music and adult-related material on your hard-drives. Please click <upload> to safely store copies of this material on Bob's Super-Mega Server, or click <no> if you want Bob to keep quiet about your illegal copying activities and you wish to donate $25 to Bob's Early Retirement Fund. ***installation 83 and a half % complete*** Bob would like to inform you of our new product Bob's Utility Software Plus, a $179 upgrade to the popular utility program that prevents crashs and unrecoverable errors. Please click <upgrade> for us to automatically add this to your VISA or click <no thanks> if you'd prefer to pay cash. ***installation 99.997% complete*** Well, we're almost done. Bob would like to thank you again for purchasing Bob's Utility Software. To show our thanks, Bob has taken the liberty of pulling all the names from your address book and has written glorifying e-mails (from you) recommending our software to all your friends. If this was alright please click <alright>, or if you feel completely violated for having your privacy invaded click <how dare you!> to proceed. ***installation aborted!!!*** Oooh!!! An unrecoverable error has occurred. We don't know what caused this to happen, but we're pretty sure that you didn't follow the installation instructions correctly or you somehow violated the licensing agreement. This probably would not have happened had you been using Bob's Utility Software Plus, which we clearly mentioned prevents crashes and unrecoverable errors.
Please click <okay> if you want to reboot your computer and start
the two-hour install process over again, or click <abort> if you
wish to cancel and begin reinstalling your now-corrupted operating system
from scratch.
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| This fictional story about utility software is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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