great gazoo Flintstones
great gazoo Flintstones

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great gazoo Flintstones
When The Great Gazoo Gets Inside Your Head

NEW BEDROCK CITY-- Mark Burton may attribute his illusions to his excessive drinking. Mark has been suffering from mild depression, and his solution was to get the answer to his problems from his good friend Jack Daniels. But a consequence of Jack's actions was the sudden manifestation of an animated alien conscience, a little green creature determined to turn Mark's already upside-down life...upside-downer.

great gazoo Flintstones
Mark Burton doesn't know what to do about his imaginary green conscience.
His problem started (he thinks) the night he passed-out on his couch, with the television running a Hanna-Barbera marathon on the Cartoon Network. An excess of liquor, combined with an overdose of The Flintstones may have triggered something in his head that led to the substantiation of the helmeted alien imp from the prehistoric cartoon series.

"I know I've watched far too many episodes of The Flintstones," said Mark. "That much I'll admit. But for me to be imagining characters from that show is a little crazy. But if I'm going to seeing things, why couldn't it be someone sexier, like Betty [Rubble]?"

Mark's semi-animated hallucinations revolve around the little green alien "The Great Gazoo", a misfit space-traveller who constantly pestered the mod-historic stone-age family man.

Gazoo, who was apparently banished from his own planet for being too annoying, has been a constant nuisance in Mark's life. And Mark hasn't been able to get him out of his head, or off his shoulder.

Oh, but he has tried. But every time Mark thought that he was rid of the "forest-green freak from outer space" he would materialize at an awkward moment, usually in public where the incidents would cause Mark maximum embarrassment. Nobody else ever saw the miniature Martian, who hovered above Mark's head like an oversized gnat.

"I've tried bug spray, bribery, and begging. I've even held my breath until I was blue in the face," said Mark, nick-named Dum-Dum. "I've kept my eyes closed for hours at a time, but that little green pest is there the moment I open them to take a peek. I don't know what Fred [Flintstone] did to absolve himself of this meddlesome Martian, but I'm not having any luck."

Mark has been so consumed by the galactic green goblin that he has had no time to drink himself silly. To distract himself from Gazoo's nosesome interloping, he's put more effort into his job, repaired relationships with his distanced friends and family, and given up television all-together in favour of reading, writing, and rhythmic gymastics.

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This fictional story about satire is intended for adults.   The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire.
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*The Flintstones and the Great Gazoo are the product and property of Hanna-Barbera Productions.