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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR PARANORMAL HUMOUR AND SATIRE
OVER THE AIRWAVES-- It's a feel-good story too good to be true. Or is it? Bruce Gotit has discovered his hidden psychic powers and he wants to share them with the rest of the (cable) world. Bruce has turned his talent of channel-surfing into the paranormal art of channelling, and he hopes to use these newly-awakened God-given talents to help mankind--hopefully on a popular television network, like his idol, John Edwards, a man with exceptional psychic acumen.
"I see a spirit. He's telling me that his name sounds like Gord, or Tom, or Bruce, or Mickey. At least I'm sure it starts with an S or a G, or an R. Or a woman maybe... named Carla? Or Darla, Darlene, Charlene, Pauleen, Paula, Polly, Molly, Mildred, Hilda, Helga, Helen, Ellen?" Bruce became interested in the supernatural watching paranormal entertainment shows like Crossing Over, The X-Files, and Seinfeld. He always knew he had a gift, a raw unbridled mental talent, but assumed it was limited to being pretty good at 'Twenty Questions.' Only after watching an episode of Highway to Heaven did he realize he could see into the unknown simply by asking several hundred random questions. "I'm listening to a spirit. He's telling me you're having problems...your wife or girlfriend, someone close to you... or maybe far away... something about money..or infidelity...maybe it's job-related or about that new television or cd player or Dirt Devil you bought... or sold... a tricky situation... am I close?" Bruce is hoping, no, he has seen, that by having his own TV show he could, will, help people with personal, financial and ethical problems. "I see a spirit. He's telling me you're calling because you have a question you don't know the answer to... you're hurt inside... or confused... you need an answer... or something... you need help, my help. I can help you, using the supernatural powers that I have. This spirit is mumbling something about an unfulfilled promise, or about leaving the lights on in the garage? Oh, you live in an apartment? Yes, I see an apartment now...quite clearly in fact. It's got two or three bedrooms...or perhaps it's only one bedroom with a den... there's definitely a bathroom." Bruce sees himself as a new-age Johnny Smith (The Dead Zone). Only in his visions, he gets more women than either Christopher Walken or Anthony Michael Hall. "It's clear to me. I see myself two...maybe three years from now... I'm driving a Lexus... no, two Lexus's... or is it Lexii? The blonde in the passenger seat is changing the music, something more romantic... something that allows the car to hug the pavement as it follows the winding road, leaves swirling from the trees..." Bruce definitely has a vision. It includes syndication, a book offer, and a movie deal. "I'm
talking to another spirit. He's telling me that I will soon have my own
show... a one-hour show... on a major network... in prime-time... and
with a huge contract...for five...no, six million dollars... per episode...yes."
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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