CANADA'S SOURCE FOR ANIMAL KINGDOM HUMOUR AND SATIRE

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Michael: "...and so, after all that therapy and counselling, Bob went right back to his old ways."

This leopard's spots would seem to be unchangeable.

John: "Well, you know, a leopard can't change its spots"

Michael: "What?"

John: "You know, a leopard. It's a large, carnivorous, cat-like mammal with tawny fur and black spots that lives primarily in Africa."

Michael: "Yes, I know very well what a leopard is."

John: "Well, you see, he can't change his spots. It's an expression. It represents man's intractability--his resistance to change."

Michael: "I thought we were talking about leopards."

John: "Yes, well the leopard's spots are genetic. The spots are where they are, and he can't change them."

Michael: "But what if the leopard got another leopard to change the spots for him?"

John: "What? No, you're missing the point."

Michael: "No, wait. Say this leopard, one who happens to be unhappy with the particular arrangement of the spots on his fur, asks his friend, another leopard say, to take a felt marker, and colour in the spots, thus altering their appearance?"

John: "Where would a leopard get a felt marker?"

Michael: "I dunno. Maybe at the safari gift shop."

John: "That's ridiculous! Even if a leopard had the money to buy a felt marker, was able to purchase one from a conveniently-located animal stationery supply store, and because of some Wild Kingdom miracle leopards suddenly developed the manual dexterity required to manipulate writing instruments, the possibility that this leopard even had the faintest concern about the location of his own spots is so unlikely as to make this entire argument irrelevant, and more than just a little bit silly."

Michael: "Well, even so, it would seem to contradict the whole non-spot changing theory, wouldn't it?"

John: "You just never change do you?"

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