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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR ADULTEROUS HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
OFF STAGE-- George Bateman has been a high school drama teacher for eleven years. During that tenure George has organized nine dramatic productions, including two musicals, written three plays, and taught everything from improvisation to classical theatre. On stage, George has directed hundreds of students, coached several promising thespians, and has even taken on a role or two himself, participating in a couple of community theatre productions. However George, who has been cheating on his wife with one of his former students, failed to convince her that he had been "working late", and it has led him to question his own acting abilities.
George graduated from the Wilson College of Fine Arts with a degree in dramatic arts, and has been involved in theatre since he played the part of the eccentric Uncle Teddy in a high school production of Arsenic And Old Lace. "I've performed Shakespeare and Arthur Miller, receiving accolades from my peers for my work in Death Of A Salesman," said George, who is twenty-two years older than the attractive college freshman he's been sleeping with. "I've made students cry with my soliloquays, I've received standing ovations for my work in Harvey, and I won the Dom Deluise Award for Best Actor in a community production in 1998 and 1999." But despite an impressive dramatic resumé, and an expertise in method acting, George was unable to assuage the concerns of his suspicious spouse. Although he admits his performance wasn't as good as a young Lawrence Olivier's in Wuthering Heights, he believed he conveyed enough feeling and honest human emotion to satisfy his wife's probing fidelity questions. "That lie I gave to Wendy was filled with passion, and I thought my expressions were as pure and noble as Peter O'Toole playing Richard II in The Lion In Winter," said George, who instead of being overwhelmed with shame and guilt was filled with self-doubt. "I thought I nailed that deception." Wendy, George's wife of eleven years, didn't believe the story for a moment. "George's performance was horrible, not even worthy of 2nd rate dinner theatre," said Wendy critically, who thought Michael Douglas's performance in Fatal Attraction was much more convincing. "Maybe there were some issues with his script, or he didn't rehearse his lines enough. He certainly underestimated his audience--me." Wendy, who is also a student of the arts, had more to say on the subject. "It's hard to convey sincerity when you're lying through your teeth," said Wendy. "George's poor acting reminded me more of Burt Reynolds in Paternity Suit, except Burt was more believable. "In any event, George failed to make me believe his tale. His performance just didn't seem natural. Plus, school is over at 3:00." Wendy was disappointed that George didn't make a better attempt to understand the role of the cheating husband--to get inside the adulterous character--although she wasn't totally surprised. "That's
not the only time he's been unable to perform," she added.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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