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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
THE KOMAR INK FIELDS, LACKJIT PROVINCE, INDIA--Two hundred and thirty years ago, a British Imperial engineer discovered what he thought were rich oil sands, vast fields of black saturated with precious liquid gold. But what that he really found in those sands was not oil, but rather, India Ink, and thus was born a new age in communication.
In the 18th Century, before the discovery of India Ink, man wrote with charcoal, and it was very sloppy indeed. India Ink revolutionized the way people wrote their correspondences. Ink was more permanent than its smudgy predecessor, and people were made to think before they wrote something down. For more than two hundred years, India Ink has been pumped from the ground, refined, and distributed to the rest of the world. But now those ink fields are running dry, and the supply of that midnight-black resource has almost been exhausted. Nowadays, synthetic ink makes up 95% of the ink market, but there are many who still prefer the natural lustre that stains a piece of parchment like blood on a white cotton shirt. India Ink writings are richer and more vibrant than the ink that comes from a 29-cent disposable writing device. However, it has become almost impossible to compete with technology. But Indian history recalls the times when many fortunes were made from its ink. Businesses such as the West India Trading Company and the British Blotter Corporation of Ceylon made millions trading and exporting the precious inky commodity to the rest of the Empire. Merchants built ostentatious mansions from the profits of ink sales, and one can still see reminders of that legacy by visiting the Great Ink Fountains of Amritsar or the Bic Museum of Natural Inks in Bombay. India is not a rich nation, and now must look for solutions to replace the effect that the downturn in the ink industry will have on the Indian economy. "We blame the British," said Bhalpoyn Penh, ink well contractor. "Or possibly it was our underestimation of the remaining ink reserves. Truthfully, we had no idea. I am so sorry. My heart weeps sorrowfully, and my palms are stained with the black blood of the many well-workers who have died so that the world could fill their quills with the black tears of the Seven Gods of Calcutta. Or those stains could just be from the ink." India has
started to pursue research and development on a natural writing alternative,
working with a combination of other resources such as rubber, wood, and
graphite.
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| This fictional story about India Ink is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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