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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR CONSTRUCTIVE HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
ON SITE-- It's becoming a familiar site at construction sites: the friendly rotating bin of the rubber cement truck, pouring gallons and gallons of sticky rubber cement into foundations, sidewalks, and driveways. Yes, someone has finally figured out a useful application for that jar of goo that sat on your school desk just waiting to be sniffed.
Rubber cement is quickly replacing its hard brittle relative. Thicker, lighter, and just more fun to work with, contractors love the gooey surface for athletic tracks, sports surfaces, and special patios in extended care facilities. More and more driveways are made from rubber cement, as the surface is pliable and forgiving. It doesn't crack like asphalt, it's safer than gravel, and it's easier to smooth down than concrete. "I recently had a basketball court built in my backyard," said rubber cement magnate Phil Filston. "Of course I went with the rubber cement surface. It's much springier, and the way I play I'll take any help I can when it comes to overcoming gravity. I also like the smell. Curiously, I've noticed that after an afternoon on the court I have a real spring in my step." Phil is confident that rubber cement will replace most traditional paving and surfacing materials, and many contractors are already raving about how easy rubber cement is to apply. "I used to work with molasses, which is about the same consistency as rubber cement," said Bert Boivin, rubber-cement truck operator and former molasses truck operator. "This stuff pours out of the spout like syrup from Mrs. Butterworth's head. But the colder it is, the slower it pours. But I'm in no hurry. Some things are worth waiting for--like a good ketchup." The only drawback with the rubber cement is in areas that receive a lot of sunlight, where it can become brittle, yellow, and start to peel after only a year or two. Epoxologists also have to work on ways to keep people from picking at it like a peeling scab. "Compared to the vandalism fresh cement is subjected to, rubber cement is a dream," said Winston Dephoque, a traffic technician. "Once a cement sidewalk is in, that's it. It's in. And there's no way you can stop them punks from scrawling their names and who's-doing-who in them. Rubber cement is very forgiving. You just have to run a blow torch over the scratches and it heals itself." Winston would like to see the entire city's sidewalk system converted to rubber cement. He believes the benefits would outweigh the costs. "It
would save a lot of wear-and-tear on knees, shins, and ankles," said
Winston. "But I'm not sure the big running-shoe manufacturers would
want to endorse a product that lengthens the life of your Reeboks."
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