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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR CANADIAN HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE--Hello fellow European traveler. Why yes, you are correct in your assumption--I am from Canada. You probably guessed that from my Montreal Canadiens baseball cap, or perhaps it was my "I Love Canada" t-shirt, or maybe it was from my kitschy red and white knapsack with the large "Canada" flag sewn on the outside.
You say you're from the United States? That's great! No, your Texas accent didn't give it away in the least. It's just that I once watched a documentary on an American television station and I learned what Americans looked like. Yes, you're right! I am on vacation to get away from our cold Canadian winters. I couldn't wait to get out of the bitter North. This July was the coldest yet, even with global warming. With all that snow, I was lucky to make it out of the airport! Who is that you say? Why, of course I know Pete from Edmonton. We’re the best of friends; we stay in touch. It's funny you should ask about him. Do you know any other Canadians? How about Rick from Toronto? Or Shelly from Hamilton? Dave in Vancouver? Why hell yah! We went to different schools together! In fact, I was going to drive over and see him next month, after I got home to Halifax. I just hope the traffic isn't too heavy, because it took me over an hour last time to drive across the country. Pardon me? Why haven't I said "eh" to you yet? Oh I'm sorry, my apologies, eh. It's just that in my country it's considered rude to talk in our native language when others might not understood what we're talking aboot. Please forgive my ignorance, eh. I'd offer you a beer, but I drank the whole two-four on my flight over here. Hey,
well it was great meeting you. I really enjoyed running into someone as cultured
and educated as you, especially in this part of the world. Say, the next
time you're in downtown Canada why don't you give me a call? Oh, you don't
need my phone number. When you get there just tell someone that you know
me and they'll let you have it.
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| This fictional story of Canadian satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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