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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
STALAG 13--My grandfather was a strong man, and I was proud of him. And he was a storyteller, and liked to describe his time in the military. He often told me of how valiantly he fought during World War II, although he said he spent most of it in a prisoner of war camp somewhere in Germany. Many times he told me of the wild exploits during his incarceration in the infamous Stalag 13, a harsh Nazi fortress known for its war-time atrocities. My grandfather often related the horrendous tales and how his brutal captors tortured him and his brave allied comrades.
The long incarceration must have been very difficult indeed. I cannot imagine the horrible punishments he must have endured at the hands of the cruel Colonel Klink, the tyrannical commandant of the German war-time prison facility. Grandfather described this monacle-wearing tormentor as evil incarnate, an unfeeling commander with a quick temper and a penchant for distributing pain and agony to the prisoners under his ruthless command. Oh, my grandfather would look back on the hard times and laugh, but there was nothing funny about the iron-fisted Sergeant Schultz, a cold-hearted Bavarian sadist whose only joys came from wielding a billy club and his constant mental games he played with the prisoners. The only solace my grandfather would ever get from this pitiless guard would be when they bribed him with their meager rations, such as a rare chocolate bar. But even that only gave them a moment or two of peace from this malevolent bully. Oh he tried several times to escape, only to be foiled time and time again by the clever German landlords who tempted him with freedom, only to deny him again and again. The periods he spent in solitary confinement were but a small maltreatment compared to the endless interrogations he faced at the hands of the dreaded Major Wolfgang Hochstetter, a despicable Nazi agent who delighted in causing unrelenting agony and suffering. But my grandfather was a survivor, and he learned how to endure his captivity, despite the reprobative nature of his captors. He told and retold the events of his confinement and of the strength of his comrades: the brave French Corporal LeBeau, the feisty British sergeant Newkirk, the brilliant Sergeant Kinchloe (or was it Sgt. Baker?), and of course the resourceful, enigmatic Sergeant Carter. With the strength of his friends, my gramps was able to face the brutal challenges of war. Oh how I
admired my fearless grandfather, who looked the Nazi enemy directly in
the eye week after week, challenging the evil minions of Adolph Hitler
from the inside of an escape-proof war prison (no one had ever escaped
from Stalag 13!). The heroic war stories he told were described in such
detail, that I could almost imagine envisioning them myself. Yes, my grandfather
was a real hero.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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