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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR INTERNET HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
ON YOUR SCREEN --Web surfers love to install plug-ins on to their web browsers to help improve and enhance their Internet experience. Web agents, ad-blockers, and toolbars all work great as add-ons to your version of Internet Explorer, and the end result is a more efficient and satisfying web-surfing experience. But with the proliferation of third-party programs used to complement your web browsing software, there is little room left for browsing, because your Internet Explorer has become a bloated surfing control center.
When you started on your quest to make IE a better browser, you thought the Google toolbar would assist you in your online searches. It made sense. The toolbar was small and unobtrusive, and the pop-up blocker was a nice feature. You didn't really have much use for the page-rank function, but so what, it looked cool. Then you decided to install the MSN Messenger component because you knew you would be able to utilize the chat function. Besides, all of your friends are always online. And then you changed the options in your view panel, allowing you to see all of your favourites, your status bars, your quick links, and the rest of those buttons you absolutely have to have visible on your screen. These were all necessary elements of your surfing sessions. It was barely noticeable at the beginning. But after all of your gradual enhancements, you began to realize the magnitude of your efforts, because eventually all you were left with was a tiny little window in the lower right corner of your web browser! Throw in the media player, the file explorer, and the status bar, and there was hardly any space left for viewing. What the hell? It was easy to justify all those extras. You needed your address bar to type in the website you wanted to visit. Your quicklinks were a necessary convenience, and you didn't want to give up those shortcuts. The history bar wasn't crucial, but you still wanted to know where you've been. And the scroll bars? They're automatically built into the software and without them, how else were you going to read the entire web page? It didn't seem possible, but it appears your Internet Explorer program has turned into an unmanageable beast. Now the program takes a minute to load because you've installed every "useful" application, extension, or enhancement ever created. You've considered removing some of those plug-ins, but at this point it would be the same as cutting off your own arm. You just can't give them up. They're just so darned useful! So what are
you going to do to correct this bizarre Internet Explorer browsing problem?
Fuck it. Just install Mozilla.
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| This fictional story about web browsers is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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