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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR TATTOO HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
AT THE TATTOO PARLOUR-- It happens in Canada all the time. Little Jimmy gets his weekly allowance, his paper-route cheque, or some spending money from grandma, and with cash in hand he heads straight down to the local tattoo parlour. Jimmy tells the burly artist to put a Pokemon on his shoulder, and an hour later there is a creepy little Japanese character permanently etched into his skin. Jimmy is only nine-years-old, barely capable of understanding the consequences of his choice. This is why the age should be raised to at least ten and quite possibly eleven.
There was a time when kids would blow their allowances on licorice, bubble gum, or smokeless tobacco--innocent child-like vices that would only rot their teeth or cause minor cancers. But now, because a little boy sees a sexy hula girl on dad's bicep or a vibrant butterfly on mom's shoulder, he wants to emulate his role model. With that picture in an impressionable mind, little Jimmy or little Susie will ride their bike down to the corner tattoo parlour and get themselves inked, giving it no more thought than they would buying a package of hockey cards, a bag of marbles, or a six-pack of lite beer. Later, Jimmy comes home from the tattoo parlour and welcome mom and dad with the shock of their lives: a purple Teletubbie that covers his entire back! Underage tattooing is a terrible problem that needs a better solution. Children not yet old enough to ride ten-speed bikes are getting Disney characters on their ankles, Looney Tunes critters on their hips, and McDonaldland creatures on their cheeks. Now a three-inch tattoo of the Tasmanian Devil on a kid's ass might not cause too much mental anguish--many adults have Warner Bros. characters tattoos on their bodies. But a seductive pose of a naked pre-teen Sailor Moon inked on a boy's arm could cause some grief--especially when that boy grows up. If the government isn't going to change the law, then parents should try to educate their children. Dad could point to the Mickey Mouse tattoo on mom's boob that now looks more like a drowned wharf rat because she breast fed five children. Or dad could lift up his shirt and show off the once-lithe bikini'ed Sally Struthers tattoo on his gut that has grown in the same unhealthy proportions as Sally has over the years. Tattoo transfers should be taken out of bubble gum packages, because it's too easy for Billy to take that artwork down to the neighbourhood tattoo parlour and get tattooed. They could also look at the possibility of introducing other options to children, such as temporary rub-on tattoos that would wear away after two or three years. At the very
least, we need to consider the possibility of raising that tattooing age
limit soon, because when Jimmy decides to get "I Love Elmo"
sketched on to his chest, he is likely going to regret it for the rest
of his life.
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