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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR GAMING HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
IN FRONT OF THE MONITOR--Is the risk of motion sickness worth the price you might have to pay whenever you play a first-person shooter? Games engines are constantly improving their graphics and their physics, and with realistic games on the store shelves like Halo 2, Doom 3, and Half-Life 2 comes a greater risk of nausea. The result of this realism is an uneasy queasiness that can lead to uncontrollable vomiting.
Jenny, an avid gamer with a tenacious tummy, first noticed symptoms of vertigo when she started playing Interplay's Descent, a magnificent three-dimensional space-oriented flight combat game where the player was constantly flying on his X, Y, AND Z axises. Because you could travel in any direction, free from the constrains of gravity, from one moment to the next, you wouldn't know topsy from turvy--even if they were wearing "Hello, My Name Is..." sticky badges on their jackets. Because of the constant computer-generated disorientation, Jenny was worried sick that she would be unable to play the first-person games she loved so much. "To cope with the problem, I'd pop a couple of Gravol [an anti-nauscant] before I engaged in a game of Counter-Strike," said Jenny, who ironically does not get sick playing Rollercoaster Tycoon. "If I didn't, I'd be on a one-woman mission to Vomit City, and the contents of my stomach was the payload." Jenny is uncomfortable with the ill feelings that accompany her gaming experiences, but there's nothing that's going to stop her from playing video games. "I hurled something fierce after the first level of Doom III," said Jenny, who has been playing PC games since she was twelve. "When the half-digested bits of food hit the screen I could hardly tell the difference between that and the gore from the game." To combat the nausea, Jenny purchased a plastic cover for her keyboard, she laid down a canvas tarpaulin on the floor, and she keeps a bucket beside her computer--just in case she feels she's going to lose her lunch battling head crabs. "I also have an anti-glare screen I can attach to my LCD monitor, which I call my splash guard," admitted Jenny. "The games may be simulated, but the projectile vomiting isn't." Although it's mostly the first-person shooters that cause the queasiness, there are a few other games that make Jenny sick. "Daikatana was one game that truly made me puke," said Jenny. "Oh no, it wasn't from the realistic graphics--that game just sucked!" Jenny hasn't found a solution for her stomach-churning gaming issues, other than not playing. But she says that it isn't an option. "I can't
wait to play Half-Life 2 deathmatch," said Jenny.
"I'll probably have to wear a waterproof rain suit for the chunks
that will be blown during gameplay. But hey, it's a great way to keep the weight
off during those extended hours of inactivity."
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| This story about gaming and motion sickness is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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