The
Last Of The Crystal Pepsi Addicts
SAN
FRANSISCO -- The streets have finally been cleansed
of a refreshing scourge. The last known bottle of
Crystal Pepsi has been consumed, and the last cola
addicts are gone.
Known
as "Crystal-Pep" on the streets, the clear,
caffeinated beverage raged onto the scene in the mid
90's.
Because
the bottles and the colas were transparent, people
thought the affects were too, and many quickly became
hooked on the invisible soda.
The
Pepsi corporation soon realized their mistake, and
shortly thereafter discontinued the product, stating
that it was just a fad. But for many, it was already
too late.
The
cola disappeared from convenience store shelves years
ago, but underground Crystal-Pep labs continued to
produce synthetic substitutes, meeting the demand
of street soda addicts.
Eventually,
the labs were all shutdown because of increased deposit
costs on bottles, and the addicts were forced to drink
other colas.
Because
of the watered-down carbonated drinks sold from convenience
store fountains, the Crystal Pepsi addicts have mostly
recovered, or switched to Jolt®.
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So
after playing a brilliant round of golf at the Hundred
Palms Golf Course, the best ever, Barney was so excited
that he just had to have a monument made in honour
of his accomplishment.