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HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE

The Toque is a humour/satire magazine published every week here on the Internet. We strive to write the most outrageously ordinary material, bringing you the maximum amount of laughter with the least amount of effort.

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I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus--So I Told Daddy

UNDERNEATH THE MISTLETOE LAST NIGHT -- She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep--but she was wrong! I saw the whole torrid thing!

I was fast asleep, but I had heard a noise, so I crept down the stairs to have a peep. And there, beneath the mistletoe was my mother, practically naked, with her face planted in the middle of Santa Claus's beard so snowy white.

And this was no innocent kiss, I tell you. I was shocked. My own mother, happily married to my father (or so I thought), was sucking the jolly face off of old St. Nick, while my father was upstairs dreaming of sugar plums.

I bounded back up the stairs, woke up the old man, and told him that there was a dirty old fart in a red suit with his sloppy red tongue jammed down mommy's throat, teaching her the real spirit of Christmas.

Boy was he pissed.