CANADA'S SOURCE FOR
HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE

The Toque is a humour/satire magazine published every week here on the Internet. We strive to write the most outrageously ordinary material, bringing you the maximum amount of laughter with the least amount of effort.

All of our satire news stories, humorous parodies, and outrageous comedy pieces are original and written by our own staff, without the assistance of drugs, alcohol, or banned sugar substitutes.

We encourage you to write us and tell us what you think of our satire site. Let us know if you have any suggestions, opinions, words of encouragement, or if you just to want to tell us we've left our turn signal on.

Yes, we're aware that we're not The Onion, but we're sure they get the same comparisons to us.

Thanks for reading, and come back as often as you like. Tell a friend, post a link, buy a t-shirt, and always remember that a toque is more than just a frickin' hat.

When The Big Rock Candy Mountain Erupted

IN A LAND THAT'S FAIR AND BRIGHT-- The soda water fountain was foaming and the Lemonade Springs were bubbling. Those two unusual signals should've provided enough warning about the impending eruption of the Rock Candy Mountain.

But residents chose to ignore the signs. And when the mountain erupted one evening when the sun went down, many were caught unawares. That night it rained sugar and then it hailed down with thousands of chunks of natural rock candy.

It was a night nobody would ever forget.

Today the lake of gin is polluted with sugary sediment, and the streams of alkyhol are thick with a sweet sludge. The bees are still buzzing and the bluebird is still singing, but the Rock Candy Mountain's face has changed forever.

The area surrounding the mountain remains a land of milk and honey, but the cigarette trees are gone, washed away in a lemonade tide.

Luckily for the residents, there was only a single casualty in that eruption---one burly bum who had recently come to town looking for a free handout.