| Superbowl Post, Post, Post Game Thoughts AROUND THE WATER COOLER-- Superbowl XXXIX is in the books, and the outcome didn't come as much of a shock. Most of the talk will be about Terrell Owens' questionable ankle, the reversed calls, or just how boring the game was. But somewhere, others will be talking about the more obscure elements of Sunday's big game.  For instance, will next year's Superbowl "Forty" be represented by the roman numerals "XL" which is proper, or by "XXXX" which is wrong, but looks cooler?
It was rumoured that people lost 40 million dollars betting privately on the Superbowl. Wouldn't that mean that other people won 40 million? Who doesn't already know that Superbowl chili is the same going in as it is coming out? Why doesn't the United States just make the Superbowl weekend into a holiday, since the Monday is already the biggest sick day of the year? The whole world watched Paul McCartney take off his jacket during the half-time show, and the words "wardrobe malfunction" echoed around the entire planet. Did anyone really want him to take his shirt off? And how many fence-sitting football fans own both New England Patriots and Philadelphia Eagles footballl jerseys? And how many of them wore the wrong one the next day? 
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The Toque is a humour/satire magazine published every week here on the Internet. We strive to write the most outrageously ordinary material, bringing you the maximum amount of laughter with the least amount of effort. All of our satire news stories, humorous parodies, and outrageous comedy pieces are original and written by our own staff, without the assistance of drugs, alcohol, or banned sugar substitutes. We encourage you to write us and tell us what you think of our satire site. Let us know if you have any suggestions, opinions, words of encouragement, or if you just to want to tell us we've left our turn signal on. Yes, we're aware that we're not The Onion, but we're sure they get the same comparisons to us. Thanks for reading, and come back as often as you like. Tell a friend, post a link, buy a t-shirt, and always remember that a toque is more than just a frickin' hat. | Monkeys Love Porn ON THE INTERNET-- It was recently published in the news that monkeys would be willing to pay for pornographic material. Studies were done that showed evidence that monkeys responded to certain erotic stimuli, and that if a monkey had money, he would spend it on porn. I guess the old adage holds true: "If you peel a banana for a monkey, he will eat for a day. But if you teach a monkey how to surf the Internet, he will find his own peelers." 
Uncle O'Grimacey Deported CANADA IMMIGRATION-- Well, it's back to the Emerald Isle for the lime green relative of the Grimace, as Canadian officials have deported the Irish shake-peddling creature.  Uncle O'Grimacey, who had been in Canada on a visitor's visa, was ordered back to his native Ireland, after being found guilty of illegally promoting and selling McDonald's Shamrock Shakes, which was a violation of his visitors permit.
The Canadian courts were kind to the furry old Irish blob, as he had initially resisted arrest, swinging his shelaligh (brown stick) at one officer, and pouring the triple-thick contents of a green milkshake into the uniformed cap of another.
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