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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR KUNG-FU HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
ON THE MATS-- The warrior moves swiftly, dancing around his opponent as only a blur of magical colour. In an instant, like a dazzling rainbow striking out at a unicorn, the Thai-Dai master has quickly immobilized his enemy, now dazed and confused by the swirling spectrum of radiance. This is the unique fighting art of Thai-Dai.
Thai Dai, an ancient blend of Eastern philosophy, religious thought, and brilliant primary colours, originated 2000 years ago when Mesopotamian traders brought magnificent dyes to China. It was then introduced to North America in the 1960's, during a time of social revolt. The martial art quickly became popular with liberal Americans who embraced it for its inherent psychedelic properties. Thai-Dai combines a traditional fighting style similar to Kung Fu, with vibrant, blinding colour. It is said to have evolved from the styles and techniques of the ancient Japanese Shibori warriors. While the physical fighting forms of Thai-Dai are respected, it is the hypnotic colours that are the key to winning fights. Like the peacock who battles the tiger, it is the bright vibrant patterns of the peacock's feathers that make him a dangerous and formidable opponent. "The enemy cannot concentrate on the fight when he is facing an brilliantly-clad Thai-Dai opponent," said Yao Mah-Mah, respected Thai-Dai master. "The bold twisting colours disrupt harmony, creating a chaos in the enemy's mind, thus weakening him and leading to his ultimate destruction."
Yao explains that the combination of fluid moves and blinding hues are the elements that ensure the Thai-Dai fighter's success. "The Thai-Dai warrior uses intensity of colour to win his battle," recited Yao, who explained why Ninja warriors always get their asses kicked. "It is he who is has the boldest blues and brightest yellows who will attain victory upon the field." Thai-Dai is becoming more popular with younger students, who are becoming disenchanted with the boring white garbs of Karate, Judo, and Tae Kwan Do. Thai-Dai instructor Mark Whetter, who has been practicing the art since he was eight, teaches his students that the "the brightest warrior is always be the strongest." Mark emphasizes a tranquility of mind along with a free-flowing harmony of fuchsia, magenta, and cyan. Most importantly, he advises his students not to wash their gi's in hot water. Thai-Dai thrived for over a thousand years, but the martial art form practically disappeared approximately six hundred years ago. Many presume that most of the old warriors simply faded away, but history suggests that the Thai-Dai army was decimated in the fourteenth century by the sightless forces of Blind Mongol conquerors.
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| This fictional story about Thai-Dai is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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