CANADA'S SOURCE FOR TIME TRAVEL HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE

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Time Is On His Side

IN THE LAB-- They scoffed at his ideas. They laughed him all the way out of the scientists symposium. But they will laugh no more, for Professor Smink, a struggling temporal technician and chronological engineer, has finally completed his life-long experiment, building the project of his dreams: the Daylight Saving Time Machine!

Time travel is possible, but apparenlty only one hour at a time.

His friends and family thought his plans were the ravings of a lunatic madman. And even the lunatic madmen had their doubts. But he has proven them wrong. by succeeding where others have failed. He has broken the time barrier...well one hour of it.

"I came up with the idea of a Daylight Saving Time machine when I was an aspiring physics student," said Professor Smink, who has always had difficulty being on time. "I was young and brash, and I would always be later for class on the Monday following Daylight Saving in the Spring, and I would be late an hour in the Fall. Those time changes drove me crazy."

The professor needed to come up with a time-saving solution for his punctuality problems, as he was frustrated with the world's concept of "saving daylight". He lobbied, without success, to abolish the government's ridiculous time-changing policy, because the amount of time that one would spend adjusting every clock, watch, and timer in the home would always take more than the hour gained.

The science behind the time machine is too complicated to explain, but because of the laws of energy, Einsteinian physics, and copyrights held by the Casio company, the time machine only has the capacity to travel forward or back one hour at a time, which really, is more than anyone should ever need.

Professor Smink, who finds he now has a little bit more time on his hands, expects that his new device will gain grudging acceptance. There are so many people frustrated with the yearly chronological adjustments. Bbiological clocks are always messed up for at least a few days following Daylight Saving Time. Although there may be other applications for the Daylight Time Machine, the main goal was to help people cope with that feeling of disorientation every Spring and Fall.

The proud professor is now looking ahead, and developing a Time Pause function, a temporal snooze button that would allow one to freeze time. He hopes that this effect will reduce the impact of tardiness, or give people a bit more time to catch up on their sleep, finish their tasks, or just take a break from the past pace of life. The professor got the idea from an old Twilight Zone episode.

With the amount of time and effort he spent developing the machine, there is still one small problem: the professor still has to manually change the time on the Daylight Time Machine's clock. But at least it's not blinking at 12:00.

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