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Bert Returns Home
SESAME STREET-- After years of confusion, nearly a decade of manipulation, Bert has decided to return home and resume his life.
Bert, who spent the last nine years in the company of questionable individuals, (The Ku Klux Klan, Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein), finally realized the errors of his ways, and knows now that he was being exploited.  "I was just a puppet," said Bert quietly. "They used me. They used me and my celebrity status. I wasn't evil...I was a fool."
Bert knows he can't repair all the damage, but hopes that one day he will understand why he did the things he did.
"It was like someone had their hand up inside me, controlling me," said Bert, crying softly. "I know that's no excuse for my behaviour."
Bert, who hopes he can pick up some of the pieces of his broken life, has returned to Sesame Street, and his old best friend, Ernie.
Ernie has forgiven Bert, but will never forget the hurt he inflicted on the world, the children, and himself.
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HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
The Toque is a humour/satire magazine published every week here on the Internet. We strive to write the most outrageously ordinary material, bringing you the maximum amount of laughter with the least amount of effort.
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Father Steamed After Daughter's Hot Date
BOILING POINT-- Sixteen-year-old Wendy Travers was in a lot of hot water when she came home later that her 11:00pm curfew last Saturday night.
Wendy's father, was bubbling mad when he found out his daughter was not at the library with Greg, her new flame, but instead spent the evening at Boiling Point, a popular make-out destination.
Mr. Travers, who was red hot over the evening's events, vented his anger at his daughter, but then simmered down when Mrs. Travers came downstairs to see what was he was so heated up about.
Wendy's mother coolly defended her daughter's actions by reminding her father of their first date, and accused him of calling the kettle black.
Fast Food Worker Considering Career Change
AT THE DRIVE-THRU-- Ricky Vasquez, a food preparation clerk, is this close to giving up on his career in fast food.
"I'm just not sure of my long-term goals," said Ricky, who is giving a lot of consideration to changing his profession. "I've given this business the best four months of my life, since dropping out of school. But now I'm questioning my decisions. Am I chasing rainbows in this industry?"
Ricky is weighing the option of a solid part-time income in a respected industry versus the prospect of unemployment.
"I know my employer invested a lot of time in my training, and of course there's the pride of wearing a name badge and a uniform, but really, is this where I see myself in five years?"
Ricky puts great value in the career-building skills he has acquired, but is wondering if there is more to be learned in another profession.
"There comes a time when you have to ask yourself if the path you have chosen is the correct one," said Ricky. "I would have nothing but regrets if I stayed for another two months, all the time wondering if I should have gone into retail. Canadian Favourites
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