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Bachelor
Tips From Barry Onmione
When you lived at home, you always noticed your mother sweeping gracefully through the rooms with a feather duster in her hand, waving it about like a magical pixie in a dance marathon. Mom's deft handling of the feathered rod was impressive, and you knew that you would never be able to duplicate her moves.
But now that you're on your own, a single individual with a single's living pad, you realize that you never really understood how dust accumulates so fast, and how it is really futile to even try to combat the never-ending rain of particles.
Believe me, my apartment can start to look like nuclear fallout if I let the dusting chores get put off too long. But there are ways, oh there are, where you can reduce the time spent on the silly exercise known as dusting.
My first suggestion is to avoid black furniture at all costs! While black cabinets and tables have a very chic look, and make a bold bachelor statement, those onyx ottomans collect dust faster than the snack machine in the lunch room collects coins.
Instead of black, I would suggest earthly colours...and by earthy I mean colours that will disguise the dust. It's likely that your furniture is going to be covered in blankets and bedsheets anyways to protect your backside from the springs that have pierced through the cloth material of your couches. And while you're not going to be too motivated to clean them very often, a simple shake on the balcony is a lot easier than the vacuuming it would otherwise require.
When you are forced to dust, (when the layers become so thick your friends start writing messages in them), it's easier to use a gym sock in each hand, than mom's traditional dusting methods. This way, you can get twice the dusting done in the same amount of time.
Pledge is nice, but it's expensive, so better just stick your sock-covered hands under hot water. If you want to get some mopping done at the same time, take your shoes off, and slide your feet around your floor. Two birds--one stone!
My final suggestion, in the name of energy conservation, is to just dust stuff that's at eye-level and below. No one is going to be coming over in white gloves, unless you win a butler in a bet, and no one is going to be checking your door jams, picture frames, curtain rods, or kitchen shelves! If you can't see it, don't dust it!
I hope you will find this this little nugget of bachelor wisdom useful, oh warrior of domestication. Stay single!
Barry's Bachelor Archive - Tidiness
In The Bedroom
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