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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
IN THE REAL WORLD-- When you're shopping in the mall, strolling through the park, or visiting at the zoo, it can be difficult to control a wandering child. Roaming children can be a danger to themselves when not completely supervised, a difficult task when a parent is distracted with their own mind-consuming errands. Child choker chains are one solution that has proven to be an effective means of controlling children's wandering behaviour, teaching them to respond to the soft pull of a leash. But many decry the use of child chokers, stating that the practice is inhumane and harmful to children. Opponents say that the chains should be outlawed before children really get choked.
The practice of using child choker chains has always been meant with the best intentions. Safety is always the primary concern, especially when curious children have a tendency to jump into wells, leap off cliffs, and dart into fast-moving traffic. "If I can't use a choker, what's to keep my four-year-old son from dashing into the street and getting hit by a bus?" asked Leona Rittle, concerned parent. "The child choker chain helps me train my child to behave, so that he learns that wandering into traffic is bad." Child leashes and choker chains have been used effectively for years, allowing parents a little extra freedom when they're out walking their children, whether it's a short trip to the store, or a long walk along the beach. The constant monitoring can be exhausting to the weary parent who would otherwise have to watch his or her child's every movement.
"It's not like these chokers can actually hurt the children," said Phyllis Abel, who has trained three of her own children with the child choker. "It's simply a device that allows a greater measure of control over an otherwise uncontrollable child. The choker isn't meant to harm or punish the child, but rather teach and instruct them on their movements. It's completely reasonable." Despite the convincing evidence, and many accounts of , opponents denounce the use of child chokers. They claim that asphyxiation is a real risk, and that wearing a collar, leash, or choker is demeaning to children. "Yes, it's true that the harder a child pulls against a choker chain, the tighter the chain becomes," admitted Phyllis. "But almost every time, the child will stop pulling before the chain starts to restrict the flow of blood and oxygen to the brain. It's quite impossible to the choker to actually do any choking. And the kids love them. It's a game to them--like playing dog." Phyllis continued to defend the use of the child choker. "It's ridiculous to presume that these devices do more harm than good. Just think of the unharnessed child who wanders freely through the supermarket and gets hit by a runaway shopping cart, or is whisked away by a dangerous sexual predator. That wouldn't happen if the child was safely leashed."
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| This fictional story about child choker chains is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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