Oh, imagine the amount of web traffic a site would receive with a headline that implied that there was celebrity nudity (like Jessica Simpson) contained within.

This picture of Jessica Simpson has her wearing a very revealing top...but it's not nude.

If I were someone looking for naked pictures of hot, young, female pop artists (like Jessica Simpson), and I came to this (or any) website believing that there was a small chance that possibly, just maybe, there could be, captured in easy-to-copy digital format, an image of my favourite female celebrity, I would be more than just a little disappointed to find that I was deceived. Those bastards! What happened to the nude pictures of Jessica Simpson you promised me?

I'd probably not even bother to read the "lame-ass" content of an article that fooled me into thinking that I'd getting a peek of some tasty, teen diva who has developed into a beautiful woman, but may have posed in the buff at one time, or been photographed in some peek-a-boo situation, and that this site may have been the source of an image file that contained a .jpg file of that indiscretion.

Even if you were sure you wouldn't see forbidden flesh, your curiosity still got the best of you.

The same thing happened to the Tolkien fan who downloaded a DivX file of The Two Towers, only to find out that it was a copy of a low-budget German pornography film, and the same to the Stone Temple Pilots fan who downloaded the latest MP3 that turned out to be a basement band's grunge recording of a Gregorian chant.

But you must agree, that for just a brief moment, when you saw the link that held a promise of naked star, there was an anticipation felt that may only be described as frenetic. You could not click the hyperlink fast enough! And the time it took for the page to load was an eternity, the bandwidth congesting on you like a phlegm-filled lung.

You may have felt cheated when you glanced at the image on this page (Jessica Simpson not nude), and realized that there would be no nudity, no carnality, and no naughty parts. But, after the initial anger and disappointment, you looked again, and found some solace in the large expanse of bosom that was offered in the naturally seductive yet still demure pose of this mega-star.

If I was a websurfer whose pastime involved the acquisition of celebrities and personalities sans vestements, I would probably be used to the disappointment in false promises. With a grunt I'd quickly flick the mouse to the next "faux-toe-shopped" image on the Internet, another promised link that'll lead to another look alike fake. You probably didn't expect to really see anything good here anyhow. But maybe, just maybe, you got a laugh from this page, and if you were fooled by the headline (Nude Pictures Of Jessica Simpson), you might just pass the link on to one of your gullible friends.

It is often said that a picture is worth a thousand words, but I can tell you that a clever headline is worth a hundred times that.

This story about nude pictures of Jessica Simpson is brought to you by The Toque,
the world leader in nude Jessica Simpson pictures parody, pictures of Jessica Simpson nude satire, and other nude Jessica Simpsons humor.